Thursday, September 29, 2011

Holding on to Grace

Another week means another blessing and another doctor's appointment. These week has brought us to our knees. We met with both my specialist and my OB today for routine visits as I've managed to stay out of the hospital and doctors offices for a week! However, we left today needing lots of prayers.

Elizabeth Grace looks wonderful. However, there is worsening of both my cervix and my membranes supporting her. Here are the facts as we learned them today: 1) my cervix has always been weak so we've been monitoring it; it's down to .8 (essentially nothing left), 2) I've always had funneled membrances into the cervix at times to the stitch; however today, the membranes at my stitch are no longer funneled, they are completely wide - meaning - more fluid means increased pressure; increased chance at tearing or bulging past the stitch, and 3) at times, they funneled slightly past the stitch, but moved back up, still open.

So here we are...home with our bags packed. Since the beginning, they (the doctors) have told us Elizabeth Grace could come any day. So, we have, to a degree, held to that and mentally remained prepared. However, as the weeks have passed, we've come to level off a bit and not be so much on edge. However, due to the worsening seen today, the open membrane bulging onto my stitch, the doctors could only conclude that any day my membrances will rupture, or buldge past the stitch. Should they buldge past the stitch, I will have to be admitted to Labor and Delivery and the stitch will have to be cut. As a result, my specialist will now see me twice a week instead of once to make sure if I bulge past the stitch, it is caught before the stitch rips, which could lead to hemoragging.

I'm sorry to make this a little graphic, but so many have asked about us, prayed for us, and worried with us. I just felt it easier to blog our information, than to make or take a million phone calls and relay the story a million times.

For now, I am home. I will see my specialist again on Monday which will mark 28 weeks. Here are the facts for Elizabeth Grace as of now: 1) she is strong, growing well, and has a great size for her gestational age, and 2) should she come in the coming days, there will have to be intensive interventions for her to aide in her breathing and she will face the possiblity of heart surgery for the PDA. As for viability, both doctors agree, she is no longer in danger in that aspect. However, we all recognize and agree there will need to be measures taken to help her continue to grow. Anyone with a micro preemie knows this far to painfully real.

At this point, we continue to ask for your prayers for Elizabeth Grace. Prayer for her strength and continued growth. Please pray for our family. Our hearts are tender and our human nature is very scared. We do know who holds our hand and who is holding our Elizabeth Grace in His hands. We have to continue to trust in His plan and His promises to us. We do not know in the days or weeks ahead when we'll meet our precious girl, but we do know until that day, I will continue to hold tight to her in my womb, while God continues to reveal His plan for her and our family.

It's a beautiful day, and the Fall weather is coming. I know in my heart God is reassuring me there are nothing but beautiful days ahead. Open your windows, and enjoy the beautiful weather. I know I sure will here at home!!!!

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