Thursday, August 18, 2011

He Will Not Leave Me Nor Forsake Me

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Today, I'm another year older. As I reflect on the past year, I am overcome with thanksgiving for the Love of Jesus Christ who has carried us, as a family, through many challenges this year. Our Faith has been tested, we have stood the test, and now we walk with Him and trust He will continue to carry us.

My day began with a wonderful visit from a sweet friend. Not only did she come visit, but she bought with her a giant butterfly balloon and some flowers. They are beautiful, but she said it symbolized my desire to fly away from this hospital back to my family. Although this is very true, I look at this butterfly tonight, and I think about my precious children. Each one of my children started as a small being inside my womb. I nurtured them, loved them, prayed for them, and carried them under my heart only to give birth to them and watch them spread their beautiful wings. In life, there are always challenges that we would like to fly away from. However, if we didn't stand the test and always flew away, what would we learn? If we had given up during our many challenges, we would have missed out on so much. We spread our wings daily, but we choose to allow God to choose when we'll use these wings to fly. My prayer is that when we do fly we fly with Grace and fly closer to Him.

Mid morning I was greeted by another sweet friend who bought with her beautiful pink princess birthday decorations, balloons, and a cake. It took me a while, and then I realized, again! For the past year, it's been blue, boy, blue, boy and nearly 16 years since I had the girly pink everywhere. Wow....we are really having another precious girl. Once she had my room decorated, she left and informed me she would drop dinner off at our house for my family to bring with them to share a dinner with me for my birthday here in the hospital. I was taken away with emotion at the simple thought and how much it meant to our family.

Early afternoon, I was SURPRISED by my husband who walked through my door with my precious boy. I had no idea he had taken a half day off work to surprise me. My heart melted and we settled into a wonderful afternoon. The three of us slipped off for a brief nap, as I snuggled with my precious boy in my bed. Again, thinking about the butterfly floating in my window sill and how one day, my precious boy will spread his wings far and wide. I pray he'll use all we have taught him, all he has seen and heard in our home, to fly along with Christ.

Early evening, my mom, dad, and my sweet Amber showed up. I was so glad to see my girl's face. I didn't see her yesterday because it was a church day, and I certainly wanted her there as opposed to this hospital. So, I was able to see her, her big smile, and hear her giggles as she and mom prepared to give me a pedicure. Again, the butterfly balloon reminded me of how my girl has already spread her wings and is soaring high along side Christ trusting Him, living for Him, and setting such a wonderful example for her brother.

Now, everyone is gone. I'm sad, so sad, and I miss them so much. But my tears only flow selfishly. I have no reason to be sad. I have been blessed with such an amazing husband, wonderful children, sweet friends, a great family, and an amazing church. We have weathered many storms together and continue to come out more blessed than ever. Now, we continue to walk our journey with our Elizabeth Grace, and what an honor it is to call her ours and be her parents. We are promised in Deuteronomy 31:8 - It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. He has not left us yet, and we know He isn't leaving us now. So today, I may be a year older, but that's another year full of blessings and for that, my tears are now tears of joy and happiness.

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