I came across a song the other day and wanted to share a bit about it. The name of the song is "Grace" by Laura Story. She also sings one of my favorite songs "Blessings" I blogged about on a previous post. However, this song "Grace" really touched me deep within as I listened to it over and over again. Here are the lyrics:
GRACE
My heart is so proud. My mind is so unfocused.
I see the things You do through me as great things I have done. And now You gently break me, then lovingly You take me and hold me as my father and mold me as my maker.
Chorus:
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abound?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."
At times I may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged, knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job. For who am I to serve You? I know I don't deserve You. And that's the part that burns in my heart and keeps me hanging on.
Chorus*
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abounds?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."
You are so patient with me, Lord.
As I walk with You, I'm learning what Your grace really means. The price that I could never pay was paid at Calvary. So, instead of trying to repay You, I'm learning to simply obey You by giving up my life to you For all that You've given to me.
Chorus:
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abounds?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."
As I listened to this song it really brought me to tears. So often it is easy to get caught up in the day to day struggles in life that I so easily forget the sacrifice He paid so that I may live for eternity. I believe with all my heart He puts challenges in our lives to remind us how much he truly does love us. The songs says "and now you gently break me, then lovingly you take me and hold me as my father and mold me as my maker". I believe this is what He has done through me, through us, as we have traveled our journey with Elizabeth Grace. I think we, as His children, take this amazing love for granted at times when we become comfortable in our walk with Him. Yet, He always forgives us, and through these very challenges, reminds us He is there.
I have made many mistakes in my lifetime...many I'm not proud of. I've said hurtful things, I've made poor decisions, and have at times strayed from Him. As I listened to this song the chorus made this far too real because I have prayed many times and asked Him why He would continue to forgive me. "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?" His answer is always the same, "My child, I love you, and as long as you're seeking my face, you'll walk in the power of my daily sufficent grace". How humbling is it to know I/We serve such a loving and forgiving God.
In the beginning days after I was rushed into surgery and the weeks that followed, I became angry at times. I was angry at myself, feeling like I somehow had failed Elizabeth. I was angry at the fact I lost control of the situation and couldn't change it. And honestly, I had moments where I was angry at God for doing this to us. How selfish is that! Who am I to question Him and what he does. He has loved me through this. He has held my hand and my family as we have walked in the power of his daily sufficient Grace. Most importantly, when I have cried out to him on my knees, He answers me. His answer may come through a song I "happen" to come across; it may come through an email, call, or text from a sweet friend; or it may even come through the gentle kick of this precious girl inside my womb. He does hear me when I call. I have to be willing to sit back and listen when he calls on me reminding me He hears me.
Fred returns to work after next week. It's been a wonderful 5 weeks with him home, however, it came at a price. He didn't have leave accumlulated as a result of the house fire earlier this year, so he won't receive any pay for these weeks. We were fortunate to be able to pull from some resources we had through retirement accounts and 401 plans. However, those only go so far. As he returns to work, we now face the challenge of wondering how the bills will get paid. Again, He commands us to call out to Him and He will listen. To seek His face, and he will give us the power to walk in his daily sufficient Grace. For me, that's all the affirmation I need to know my God will continue to carry us. When I quit work to stay home, we wondered the same thing...how will the bills get paid. Let me share with you...they have been paid, they continue to be paid, and we continue to stand in amazement at how He provides.
I blogged previously about living a life of love and devotion to those you love. Money doesn't define you. How you walk in your life, love those around you, and the time you spend with the ones you love will define you. When you leave this Earth, what will those you leave behind talk about when they talk about you?
The past 2 weeks have been difficult. We have made several trips to my doctors and the hospital. Although my body continues to weaken, God continues to carry out His plan, and Elizabeth Grace remains in my womb. We learned Wednesday, she is now 2 lbs. 7 oz. measuring at 27 weeks and 3 days. I was only 26 weeks and 2 days. Needless to say, she is growing amazingly well. I continue to be humbled by this experience and so amazingly blessed. If I could go back 26 weeks, I'm not sure I would change a thing. My sweet family has traveled such a journey over the past 14 months (William's birth, the house fire, and Elizabeth). Yet through it all, we ramain committed to each other and to our Lord and Savior! As the song tells us:
"As I walk with you, I'm learning what your grace really means. The price that I could never pay was paid at Calvary. So, instead of trying to repay You, I'm learning to simply obey You by giving up my life to you for all that You've given to me".
So for that, I continue to turn it all over to Him. How can I not? Who else has proven themself so faithful, loved so unconditional, and demonstrated such a foregiveness that only He can give? We have weeks ahead of us that remain uncertain. However, one this is very certain, He loves me, He loves my family, He loves Elizabeth Grace, and He loves You. Make today a special day...love those closes to you, and I encourage you to not take anything for granted. Look at all you have and for just a moment, stop and thank God for those things.
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