Just when we thought we were winding down with doctor appointments, we are faced with yet another challenge. Or should I say, another opportunity to allow God to work.
Selfishly....I beg for mercy! My precious family has been through so much. There are times I find myself shouting to God "we've stood the test and we have praised You"! Yet, I'm quickly reminded, he isn't finished with us yet.
Faithfully...I rejoice in the fact I do have a loving God who embraces His children with loving arms when they need it most. I remain faithful in prayer, and trust in Him to help me be strong and patient.
Prayerfully...I come yet again to my knees asking God to hold my sweet girl in his arms. I often feel like I keep "asking" lately, forgetting to give thanks. I am so very thankful and so very blessed!!
Gracie had her 2 month check up and continues to thrive. She gained 1.5 pounds and grew another 2.5 inches. Her pediatrician is happy with her growth and we both laughed as Gracie felt she had some things to tell us while Dr. Roberts examined her. She really is my girl...LOVES TO TALK! It really is funny to watch her because she uses her eyes so much when she talks. She really is beginning to show such a sweet personality.
For weeks now, Gracie has had a difficult time in her swing and the carseat. She can only tolerate both for a very short amount of time before she cries out. It's not a simple cry....and you mother's know, you know your baby's cries! It's a cry as if she's in pain. Many times, I have had to stop 2 or 3 times to take her out of her seat and comfort her while traveling from one side of town to the other. I guess it goes without saying, it was a long trip to Florida and back. I mentioned my concerns with the doctor and asked if she could check her back just to make sure her spine was lined up correctly and there weren't any problems with her back that could cause her pain. She did check her back and everything was fine. She then performed another examination and became concerned that her hips may be displaced. She explained to us this is common with breech babies. Although Gracie was not breeched at birth, she was breeched several times during the pregnancy and as late as 26 weeks. With this fact, as well as her examination, she felt it best to refer her for an ultrasound of her hip. She reassured me it could be nothing, but all indications were that this may be the case.
As we left, Fred and I began to talk about all our trials over the past 19 months. I said to him "can we or our children catch a break...I just want Gracie to catch a break". He quickly reminded me, she did catch a break...she's here, alive, happy, and healthy. Wow...did that humble me. He is right! We have our precious girl, and daily she brings so much joy to our home, our hearts, and our family.
As much as I am ready for God to say "my work is done in you...for now...my child", I'm looking forward! I am once again accepting His plan and His desires for our Gracie and our family. Truth be told, God is NEVER really done with us. So long as we are on this Earth we are a work in progress. He uses us to tell His story and share His Love.
Last April, God saw fit to create a life in me. He saw Fred and I worthy of taking this life and using her for Him. Lately, my Grace seems to have left me, and I have found myself in a rut! I'm frustrated, tired, and discouraged. However, last night was a true night of reflection for me. I found myself asking for forgiveness. I turned, yet again, to Him to seek strength and patience.
So, she did catch a break! Each smile, each coo, and each night I rock her in my arms are my daily reminders He is faithful if we trust Him. So I will continue to trust Him. I will continue to remain faithful in prayer. I will continue to turn to him when I feel hopeless, lost, and frustrated. I will continue to praise Him. Most of all, I will continue to remain humbled and gracious, He chose us to be Gracie's mommy and daddy. What an honor, what a pleasure, and what a Gift!
With Love,
Jamie
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