A Full Heart.......A Busy Life

Wow! I'm a bit behind with my blog. I hope it's not too long.

We are continuing to adjust to having a newborn in the house. I must say, it's a sweet pleasure adding Elizabeth Grace "Gracie" to our home. Each day is a reminder of how precious life is.

Prior to Christmas we took William to meet Santa Claus. Well...let's just say he wasn't so "excited" about this guy in the red suit with all the white hair on his face.

We had a wonderful Christmas celebrating with our family. It was different being here and not in Florida, but being here reminded us of the precious life we had just brought into this world. We kept with our normal traditions, opening one gift Christmas Eve, pajama picture by the tree, breakfast pizza and sausage balls Christmas morning, Santa made his debut, and a wonderful Christmas dinner with a homemade cheesecake courtesy of my daddy! I truly missed being at my mom and dad's house and celebrating with my brother and his family, but we counted our many blessings and enjoyed celebrating the very Savior that saved our girl.

Amber spent a week in Arkansas with mom and dad visiting our family there. She had a wonderful time and I'm sure getting away was fun for her. She is such a great big sister (I've said it a time and time again) but she truly is. She just loves on Gracie and William all the time. William runs to her every afternoon when she walks in from school and reaches for kisses. It melts my heart to see her interact with them with such gentleness and love.

William is adjusting as well and much better than I ever imagined. He loves his little sister and constantly kisses her and runs to her cradle every time he hears her whimper or cry. He loves her so much he wants to "share" his toys and does this by throwing them over the cradle. So we are continuing to work on this. He loves to sit and hold her with mommy's help and is learning to pat her and rub her with "gentle hands". He loves to "help" so he holds the diaper while we change Gracie, he loves to wipe her mouth when she spits up (and when she doesn't, ha) and really loves to take her socks on and off. It's a lot of fun watching him interact with her.

Fred learned this week he was given an internship to teach at Gwinnett Online Campus. This has potential to lead to a placement position which is an awesome opportunity for him. I'm so excited for him and this opportunity. He has worked so hard and deserves this so much.

Gracie is growing like crazy. She eats ALL the time and is developing quite a personality. She has started smiling and cooed for the first time tonight. She's still learning to sleep. As tired as I am, and how difficult the nights are with her up and down all night, I am reminded of our journey. Our prayers could have been answered so differently, but God gave us the "yes" we prayed for and for that, I will take the sleepless nights. She's a precious little girl and I find myself at times just kissing all over her sweet cheeks.

We have an appointment tomorrow to meet with an audiologist with Scottish Rite for Gracie. While in the hospital, they conducted a hearing test which is standard. However, Gracie did not pass in her right ear. They did three tests, one which included electrodes. Her left ear appears okay, but she appears to have some degree of hearing loss in her right ear. We remain optimistic that this may have just been fluid build up, but hope to find out more tomorrow. We know who holds our hand, and her hand, so we continue to lean on Him and Him alone. I'll update on her diagnosis once we know more.

I continue to be so thankful to all our friends and family who have and continue to pray for our family. The journey was hard, we fought hard, and in the end, we were rewarded with a precious little girl. I have found myself at times missing her in my tummy but am so very thankful she's here and in our arms. As I reflect on all we have learned, I beleive the greatest of these lessons is to trust Him even in the greatest of trials. When traveling through life's trials, we often feel like God isn't near and sometimes not listening to our cries. There were times in our journey I struggled with these feelings. However, I learned He is there, I just had to be patient and listen. My prayer is that through our journey, my words, and our girl, that you may find this same comfort if you are in the midst of a trial.

I'm going to sign off for now and try to update some pictures to Facebook. It's amazing how busy life has become but I WOULDN'T change it for anything.

Love,
Jamie

Amazing Grace How Sweet The Sound

Yes, our precious girl is here and we are cherishing every moment with her. I'd like to blog about our experience in bringing her into this world as it culminating a long, prayerful, emotional journey that many of you traveled alongside us.

I spent much of Friday night finalizing things around the house and texting and chattng away with a great friend. Needless to say....I was restless, anxious, and excited, so we were on the phone well after midnight. After a few hours of rest, Fred and I got up bright and early and made the trip to Northside.

We arrived as scheduled at 6:30, however it was after 8:00 before we were placed in a room. We got in, got settled, and then looked at each other with a sense of uncertainty as to is this really real...are we going to meet her today? Things were busy, so not much went as planned, however, the day proceeded. My OB decided rather than wait on the epidural he would go ahead and remove my stitch. Well...that proved to be extremely painful and took me a short while to gather myself once that procedure was over. Shortly after, we began pitocin and then I received an epidural.

As anticipated, I had quite a bit of scar tissue which slowed things considerably. The midwife and my OB spent much of the morning and early afternoon trying to tear away at the scar tissue to help me progress. By mid/late afternoon I had made progress, however, Elizabeth was not dropping. Finally, after a very long day, the call was made at 6:15 for a C-section. As we prepared, I was overcome with emotion. I was tired, very tired, but now a bit afraid. However, I was reminded in my soul, He was with me, He had carried me this far, and He was not going to leave me or us now. I loved on Amber and William and gave them lots of kisses and reassured them all was well, while all the time hiding my tears. Mom and Dad took them to the waiting room, and Fred and I finalized paperwork and preparations to be taken to the OR.

We arrived in the OR and my OB was just as excited as we were. After lots of tugging, pulling, shaking, etc....we heard my OB say, wow...she is a big one! Shortly after, we heard her cry. It was at that moment, I fell apart. The cry I was hearing was the cry we, at one point, never thought we would hear. This cry was more than a new baby cry...it symbolized a journey of Faith, Love, and Prayer and as she cried, I felt the prescence of God holding my hand and just as I had reassured my children minutes earlier all was well, He was reassuring me at that moment, all was well.

I saw Elizabeth briefly, and Fred left with her to wait for me in our recovery room. Once I was finished in the OR, I joined them at which point I was finally able to hold my precious angel. All I could do was kiss her precious nose, lips, head, and stroke every part of her precious body. I could not believe she was real, the moment was real, and our journey was complete.

I did not sleep much at all that night. The pain was great, but I spent much of the night just holding her, staring at her, and finding myself in thanksgiving and praise over and over again. I knew she was here by the works of His hands, and only His hands. I knew if it weren't for prayer and Faith, that moment would not have been.

We spent the next few days in the hospital loving on her, welcoming her, and embracing the new life God had so richly blessed us with while continuing to remain humble. Time and time again, from OR recovery, to my many nurses, each would ask the other, "Have you heard this baby's story?". Sure it's a story, but I think now, it's much more than that. It's a revelation that God is real, prayer is real, and Faith does carry you. Our journey tells the story of God's love rather than simply just being "a story". Elizabeth is the living testimony of God's Grace, and His desire to Love us.

Yet, through it all, I am reminded that although our prayers were answered just as we had desired, there are many mommy's right now grieving the loss of their child and grieving for prayers that weren't answered as they desired. However, I still believe God answers all our prayers, but sometimes, they aren't how we want them answered. It is up to us to find the beauty in these moments, and trust in Him to give us the strength and courage to embrace the jouney that comes with those moments. Again, I am reminded of my friend Sarabeth's journey and her reliance on Faith. I admire her Grace and count it a blessing to call her my friend. She has taken her "unanswered prayer" and turned it into an answered prayer that has allowed her to share God's Love with so many.

Tonight, we are home. I'm still in a lot of pain, but I am home with my sweet Amber, my precious William, and my Amazing Elizabeth Grace. As I lay down shortly to rest before she wakes up, I am brought to tears by the blessings God has given me. Blessings I don't deserve. My children have been loved and cared for this weekend by my wonderful parents while Fred and I welcomed Elizabeth. My home is decorated for Christmas, Dad is baking, and mom continues to prepare meals to feed us. I hope, just as we are, you are reminded of the Reason for the Season.

I will post more pictures soon.

Love,
Jamie

10 Days and Counting...............

Counting the days! This past week I have struggled a great deal with frustration, lack of patience, and very little grace (just as Beckee). I guess this is normal for any pregnancy rounding the "final" corner. I entered 37 weeks this week and am feeling every bit of it as Elizabeth continues to drop and grow. As of last Friday, they estimated her at 7 lbs! Can you believe it....7 lbs. She is going to be the bigggest of my three babies, yet the one who gave us the most fear.

We met with my general OB yesterday, and the plan remains....I have been scheduled to be at the hospital by 6:30 a.m. next Saturday, the 17th. So we will be up bright and early on the road. I cannot believe it's 10 days away! It just doesn't seem real. Mom and Dad will arrive Friday night and plan on making their way to the hospital once we get there and get settled. We are not sure how long of a day it will be. The plan is to admit me early. MY OB will be there, which is a huge blessing, and he plans to remove the stitch, break my water, and begin pitocin right away. The stitch removal can be extremely painful, so we will decide at that time if I will go ahead with an epidural. We won't know if a c-section will be necessary until things get started. He seems optimistic and so I'll follow his lead on that one!

We are thrilled to meet our precious Elizabeth and truly see the work of His hands. Not knowing how the day will proceed, we are not sure about visitors for Saturday. We do know that we will want to make it a very special day introducing Amber and William to their new sister. This will be especially significant for William as he is so young. We pray he is able to make the adjsutment to her outside of my belly which he has come to love dearly loving all over here "in there". We'll be anxious to see if this continues once she's "out" and real. Amber is such an amazing big sister, and I know she'll be nothing but amazing as she meets Elizabeth. Mom and Dad are just as excited as well. They are the best grandparents, and each grandchild has been so special to them. We are so thankful they will be here to welcome Elizabeth as well as be there with the kids.

However, Sunday, we will welcome visitors with open arms. We are well aware that each of you have shared so much of our journey with us and through your prayers and dedication to our family, we will be holding our girl in our arms. We are looking forward to sharing her with each of you, but want to make sure we reserve the early moments Saturday for our kids and family.

Needless to say, the next 10 days will be BUSY. We will be making sure the house is all decorated and ready for Christmas, wrapping up all the final cleaning and organizing, and meeting with both doctors one last time. I doubt I will have time to do a post before next Saturday. I will, however, make sure to update via FB and the Blog by Saturday evening with lots of pictures of our precious Elizabeth Grace! As I type, I am overcome with such heavy emotions.

In May, I had a sweet childhood friend anxiously await the day of arrival for her precious daughter Faith. Faith lived 42 minutes, then went to live with Jesus. As I/we anxiously await the day of arrival for our Elizabeth, my emotions and thoughts think about Sarabeth and her precious Faith. She has and continues to be such an inspiration to me. So next Saturday, as we hold Elizabeth in our arms, I will be reminded of Faith...Faith that got us this far, and the precious Faith that Sarabeth has shared with so many people in her own personal time of grief. God has a plan, and at that time, we were unaware as to how much Faith we would need to carry us. As I mourned for Sarabeth, God knew His plan and was preparing His plan all along. He never fails!

With Love,
Jamie

It's a Date....A Retirement....A Sweet 16....and a Christmas of a Lifetime!

As posted on my status update on FB, we finally have a date for induction. The fact that we are even discussing an induction brings me to tears as we culminate this journey with our precious girl. I'm not sure what emotions I feel right now or will feel when we see her. I do know that without Faith and Prayer and the Love of my Lord and Savior, we would not have our girl or even be discussing an induction.

We met with my general OB yesterday. Many of you know, I have battled with one emotion lately....FRUSTRATION. I'm so ready for her to be here. I believe a large part of that involves my continued fear of something happening until she's in my arms. Not to mention, I'm just physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. We have been fighting for her since I was 5 weeks pregnant and I will fight to the end...I'm just ready and tired.

After a lengthy discussion with my OB, we were calmed and left with a clearer understanding of why we have to "wait". I am on heprin, a blood thinner. I can't just be removed from it and there is a time lapse for it to wear off. So, my OB is trying to schedule an "elective" induction so I can be taken off the heprin in time for my blood count to rise in case of surgery or to receive an epidural. Insurance will not allow an elective induction prior to 39 weeks. I've been beggin to remove the stitch, however, if he does that, the possibility of me going into labor on my own increases, and due to the blood thinner, I would not be able to get an epidural and in the case of a c-section would need to be put to sleep. So, as we stand now, December 17th is the date! There is still the "risk" of going on my own before hand and/or tearing the stitch. So we just pray now, she stays where she is for 17 more days.

We are overcome with excitement and anticipation of holding her in our arms! Amber turns 16 on December 15th so Elizabeth will make a wonderful present for Amber. I've often talked about how proud I am of her. It brings me to tears to know she will be 16, but she's such an amazing 16 year old and a wonderful blessing to her baby brother and sister. She even agreed to postpone her Sweet 16 Party to the end of January since things were so crazy right now! William and Elizabeth won't realize it now, but one day, they will know how much she does love them and is so proud of them. The simple way she interacts with William, playing with him, loving on him, helping with him, and comforting him, is precious. He's even learned when he reaches the top of the staircase right where her room is and boy does he go running in there! She just lights up when he does! It would be so easy for many teenagers to be annoyed or bothered by a baby brother or sister, but she isn't and never has been. I'm so proud of her.

God continues to show Himself in this journey. Mom officially retires on December 16th making that her last day of teaching after 38 years! Bitter sweet, I'm sure! But...with the 17th being the date, she and daddy are expected to arrive here the night of the 16th. So, Happy Retirement to my Mom as she welcomes another granddaughter. This will be our first Christmas not being able to go to Florida. As difficult as that will be, we are reminded of the Reason for the Season as we will celebrate Christmas with our Elizabeth Grace, who we thought we may lose months ago. I can't imagine a more blessed Christmas than to share the power of Prayer and Faith with my other two children on Christmas morning. It will be nice having mom and dad here though!

We will keep you updated in the days ahead and on her arrival. Amber beat me to FB when William was born, so we'll see if she beats me again! She was able to witness his birth and it was truly amazing to share that time with her. I'm hoping to share that same experience with her as we welcome Elizabeth into this world.

Love,
Jamie

My Reflection...My Faith....Your Blessing

So while our Thanksgiving dinner is finishing up on the stove and in the oven, I thought I would sit and rest a bit and update our blog.

I woke up this morning with so much emotion on my heart. I believe I was simply overcome with thanksgiving in a way I have never experienced. I began my morning at 5:30 (before William even woke up). I seasoned our turkey and put him in the oven to began cooking. I then prepared Amber's two must haves, sausage balls and breakfast pizza. Once all that had started, William woke up...of course Amber was hours later, haha.

As I stirred around the house cleaning the kitchen, I began to think about all I have been blessed with and all I have to be thankful for. As abundant as those things are, they are all only because of the love of my Lord and Savior. In my life, I have been blessed with a wonderful family and amazing friends. I have been blessed with His provision, His Faithfulness, and His Love to me, even when I least deserved it. As I continued to reflect, I realized my greatest of blessings were right in front of me. God has given me such an amazing husband. I don't think we truly realized the significance of our wedding vows until this past year. "Richer and Poorer, Sickness and in Health". As we have stood strong for each other for 14 days until we brought our sweet William home from the NICU, through our house fire, through guiding and loving our teenager through challenging "teenage" times, and walking in Faith for our Elizabeth, we have stood the test and are a testament of relying on our vows and trusting in God.

Above all, I am so very thankful for my three beautiful children. There is nothing in this earthly life that brings me more happiness, more joy, and more love than my children. Each one of them has their own unique personality that defines who they are. As a mother of a teenager, there is no greater joy than watching my daughter grow and walk in Christ.

So as we prepare to sit down together and eat, reflect, and give our thanks, I am so honored God chose me to be Fred's wife, and Amber, William, and Elizabeth Grace's mother. For our family, this Thanksgiving has a more significant meaning. We will be giving thanks for the power of prayer and for our Elizabeth Grace. 17 weeks ago, we began a journey that would challenge our Faith more than ever. However, as a family, we have met that challenge, followed His calling, and placed our trust in Him. For that, we have been rewarded. As we prepare to welcome her into our family, we are anxiously waiting to wrap our arms around her and daily tell her the story of Jesus Christ.

As you enjoy this day with your family, I pray that you stop for just a moment and reflect on all your blessings. For some of you, they won't be hard to find, for others, you may have to search a bit, and for others you may feel like you have none. I trust that through our story, and our Elizabeth Grace, you will know your greatest blessing and the Love and Forgiveness of Jesus Christ.

Enjoy your day, eat LOTS, and most of all be happy!

Love,
Jamie

We Are Finally Ready!

I'm a bit behind on updating on Elizabeth! Yes, I am still pregnant, and tomorrow (Monday) marks 35 weeks!

We met with both our specialist and my general OB last week. Last weekend was a little eventful resulting in an overnight stay at Northside for monitoring and medications. This was followed by my regular weekly appointment on Monday with my specialist and my OB on Thursday. Due to all the activity I'm having with contractions some medication adjustments were made. I will, however, continue with my final two 17P injections. I have had this injection once a week since I was 17 weeks pregnant. Essentially, the progestrone released keeps my cervix from "changing" despite the MANY MANY MANY contractions I am having. The plan all along was to be on these injections until 36 weeks. So, neither doctor is budging on this one.

The next issue at hand is the consensus on when I will be admitted for removal of my stitch. My specialist has agreed all along, 36 weeks would be sufficient and is pretty standard. My general OB would prefer I wait until 37 weeks. Of course I'm ready, but the more challenging question is Plan B, if my body does not transition into labor. The initial discussion is to admit me for 24 hours, then send me home if nothing happens and a scheduled induction/c-section would occur at 39 weeks (the Monday before Christmas).

So here we are...I see my specialist tomorrow. Both doctors have scheduled a meeting to discuss a birth plan for Elizabeth Grace and try to reach an agreement as to the date for stitch removal and whether or not they'll both agree to aide through induction at that same time if I do not go into labor on my own.

In an attempt to minimize more time off work for Fred, if we can all agree on a 36 week stitch removal with induction, then we will most likely request next Thursday (36 weeks 3 days) to admit me and hopefully meet our precious girl over the weekend.

So...............that was a lot to take in, but needless to say we are anxiously waiting to hear what the doctors decide tomorrow.

I personally cannot believe we are at this point. At our last appointment, Elizabeth weighed nearly 6 pounds, so I know she is at 6 pounds if not over by now. Based on her movements, kicks, and location of her head, she is a very LONG little girl as well. She is super strong, and a lot of the time, I can feel her little foot and even measure it with my fingers.

Every kick, every movement, and every appointment is a reminder of God's Faithfulness to us. Our human nature is to call her a little miracle, and that she truly is. However, there really are no miracles. God has His hand on all we do and to discount that with calling all great things miracles, is discounting the power of Faith, Love, and Prayer.

The past 16 months for our family have been challenging. We have weathered one premature birth, the NICU, a house fire, and then of course our journey with Elizabeth. However, we have and will continue to Praise Him for his Faithfulness to us, His never ceasing Love, and the privilege He has given us to share His Love. We have stood the test, and are ready to take the next step in this journey which is to Serve Him in all we do.

I will update once we hear from our doctors.

Love,
Jamie

Would I really push rewind?

I must say....it's been an eventful, busy few days in our household!

I want to start my blog by shouting to the world how proud I am of my amazing husband. His Master's Degree was conferred tonight, FINALLY! He was to have finished in the Spring at the same time of the house fire. Well, needless to say, it was "postponed". Then, through all we've been going through and all he's had to handle with the kids and our home while I've been on bedrest, he was finally able to finish. I could not be more proud of him!!!!

Next...let's just say....Elizabeth Grace should be making her debut within the week. I started contracting Friday night. This is nothing new so I just tried to carry on as usual. However, when Saturday night rolled around and I was still contracting (4 - 6 an hour) I knew 29 hours later, something was wrong. So we headed to Northside. I was admitted for monitoring overnight and around 2 a.m. the contractions increased and intensified. They immediately gave me trebuteline (sp?). This did not work with William, so I was a bit hesitant. However, it did stop the contractions and I was discharged and sent home around 10:00 Sunday morning. Well, by mid-day Sunday, everything started back up AGAIN. I decided I was not going back to Northside and would just see my specialist Monday (today) for my routine appointment). Well...Miss Elizabeth is LOW LOW LOW and weighs a great 5 lbs 13 oz. I am continuing to contract and did so in his office. He feels like we should be meeting her any day and sent me home. He wants my contractions to be a bit more regular and closer together before admitting me back to L&D and cutting my stitch. He said from this point forward there will be no steps to hold off the labor like the other night.

We are as ready as we can be to meet our precious girl and are so excited about the days ahead. All the nurses in my specialist"s office including my specialist truly believe she is a little miracle and in the words of my specialist "you have defied all odds in the pregnancy". In addition to all the issues with my cervix, I also have Factor V Leiden, which makes me high risk for clotting (hence the blood thinner injections I take daily). In most cases, these pregnancies result in low birthweight. We see in Miss Elizabeth that's not the case. In fact, she is measuring between 36 and 37 weeks. So I guess you can say we "defied all the odds", but I'd rather think there was a Greater Physician holding our girl's hand and has once again proven Himself Faithful.

I am looking forward to the Holidays ahead. Although this journey has brought us through so many challenges, we continue to face the financial impacts of all we've been through. However, as Thanksgiving rolls around and shortly after that, Christmas, we are reminded of what truly matters. I could not be happier, more content, or more at peace with this amazing life God has blessed me with. Sometimes, I'd prefer a rewind button (especially since my sweet Amber is turning 16 in a month). But what is a rewind button really worth when looking forward brings me such big smiles and such a full heart. So in the end, I think I'm liking this "play" button I have pushed and have no intentions of pushing rewind except in my memories and stories as I tell my children of God's love for them and our testimony of that Love.

I will keep you posted in the coming days as we anxiously await the arrival of our precious Elizabeth Grace.