tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48420043790773779352024-03-05T02:32:51.805-08:00An Ordinary Woman Walking an Extraordinary Life with ChristJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-65866385178158053982013-01-22T20:17:00.000-08:002013-01-22T20:17:41.734-08:00He Chose Me....Sometimes I feel like I am running a marathon! In the words of Kate, from John and Kate Plus 8...this may be a crazy life, but it's our life...<br />
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Over the past month, yes one month, here is a glimpse into "our life". We have pulled off 2 birthday parties in one weekend, Gracie had tubes placed in her ears, we celebrated Christmas and New Years, EVERYONE in our house has had an upper respiratory infection, I was seen for suspected kidney stone which turned out to be an infection, and William had a tonsilectomy and adnoid removal.<br />
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I must say, I never get bored. <br />
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Gracie's tubes are doing what they were placed to do and she is doing fabulous. She started the 1's room at preschool and has already begun learning sign language. We could not be more blessed to have the two little ones at such a wonderful Christian preschool where they are learning so much. The other day while eating yogurt, I asked Gracie if she was "all done"...she can say this. Waiting for her to repeat it back to me she shook her head no and said more while signing. I was speechless (yes, I have those moments). With a smile, she knew exactly what she meant and did indeed eat another yogurt. She continues to keep us on our toes. She is constantly on the move and has learned how to aggravate her brother by snatching his toys, poking him, and pulling him down by his shirt. She has also learned to say "Ambu"..Amber...and when Amber enters a room you will know she has arrived because Gracie will gladly announce it! She adores Amber, and Amber adores her just as much. I am often frozen in time as I reflect on her journey and her testimony. I cannot wait for her to share God's love through her testimony as she grows up.<br />
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William is recovering. I hate seeing him so sickly. He is also so active and constantly on the go. However, this has knocked him to his feet and he tries so hard to get up and play but only lasts about 5 minutes before telling me "I tired mommy". I must say I have certainly enjoyed all the snuggles!!! I'm sure within another week he will be back to making us smile with his precious smile. He is just such a sweetheart! The night after surgery we were in the hospital room and he had gas really bad from the anesthesia. Every time he would "poot" he would say excuse me in this sweet little painful cracking voice. <br />
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Amber continues to keep us moving. I think she is slowly overcoming her "fear" of driving and hopefully will begin driving soon. She is looking forward to D-Now in February and then a big summer with the youth at church. As it stands now she will be in Orlando, San Franciso, and Georgia. So needless to say, her summer will be action packed with so much time to share God's love to so many!<br />
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It has been a constant struggle juggling work and managing all the doctor appointments with all the kids and their schedules. However, I have no regrets. I'm so blessed to have a career that does give me a great working schedule. In addition, the babies are learning so much at their preschool. As I stated earlier, we have been so abundantly blessed to have been able to have them at A Child's Academy where they learn so much academically, but also at a preschool that is founded and grounded in our Faith. This is the same preschool Amber attended as well!<br />
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So I just shared a glimpse into our "crazy life". Before ending my post I want to share a more personal thought. I know how "cheezy" it sounds, but through all the busyness, doctors, surgeries, and sleepless nights with sick babies, I feel so blessed to be able to still look to my husband with so much love. In today's society, with so many marriages falling to divorce, I consider us very blessed. After the past few years, it would have been so easy to just give up on us. So much of "us" has been devoted to our children in the midst of challenges we have faced. However, we have stood true to our vows and have allowed God to work through every situation in the lives of our children, the lives of us as parents, and in our marriage. Because of this, we are happier today than we have ever been.<br />
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If you are reading my blog, and find yourself at a crossroads in your marriage, please stop and reflect on life before the "craziness" that has brought you to the crossroads you find yourself. Often in life we are dealt a hand we don't ask for. We are presented with challenges we could certainly live without. However, trust His plan for you and trust that He knows your every second and your every breath. Use these times to grow. Become a better you, a better friend, a better mom, a better wife, and most importantly a better Christian.<br />
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I'm so far from perfect, but I continue to strive each day to become better than I was the day before. I look at my precious family and am reminded of His love for me. I am reminded He chose me to mother Amber at only 17. He chose me to be William's mommy, and humbled that he chose me to show the world how true He is by being Gracie's mommy. So today, trust that He has chosen you for something Big, something Special, something for Him. <br />
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Have a great week!<br />
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With Love,<br />
JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-17631471038991623432012-11-30T20:27:00.000-08:002012-11-30T20:27:01.651-08:00Time, A Move, and Abundant BlessingsI just realized, it's been 9 months since I last visited my blog. I hope to pick up from here.
The Ashford home has been a busy home in the past 9 months. Since I last posted, we have moved back to Florida. I must say, this move came with a lot of stress, emotion, changes, and unexpected challenges. However, we could not be happier and more blessed with our decision.
We are not settling in and my three precious kiddos are thriving. Amber is doing great in school. She settled in quickly and made many new friends within days. She is such a sweet, caring, funny, loving girl. She has also settled into church, joined the youth group, and the choir. In fact, she is performing in the Gainesville Christmas Festival the next two weekends. So she remains busy with church and school, as well as juggling her friends and time shopping, movies, and just hanging out. I could not be more proud of her and cannot believe in less than a month she will be 17!
William is thriving at preschool. He wakes up in the mornings and asks "school, mommy, school?". He has begun to talk in sentences, says his ABC's, counts to 10, sings a million songs, and is learning to say complete prayers. He is such an active 2-year old who brings a smile to our faces daily! He makes us laugh and cry all at once.
Gracie, well she is our Gracie girl! She is loving preschool as well. She has started walking, talking (Amber, baba, dada, momma, hey) and waves bye bye with a smile. She now has 4 teeth and eats anything in front of her. I am reminded daily of how precious she is and the journey we traveled with her. Her smiles, kisses, giggles, and sweet personality light up our home.
And then there is me....after much deliberation, I did decide to return to work. It was a struggle in the beginning, but after seeing how well the kids were doing, and our easy schedule, we could not have made a better decision. I knew whether I returned to work or not, William was going to begin preschool. Little did I know how much he would truly love going. After several weeks, I adjusted, my children adjusted, and we are now one busy, busy family. Between my schedule and Fred's schedule, they are never at school much past 3:15. Which is awesome.
Since being home, we have seen the kids become so close with their family. The smiles, laughs, and excitement on their faces is priceless, just as they time they get to spend with their cousins. William has learned everyone's house and every time we drive up he gets so excited and reminds us where we are.
With all the blessings, we still have some hiccups ahead of us. Gracie will most likely have to have tubes in her ears. She is on a second round of antibiotics for her ear infection having "failed" her hearing screening. We will monitor her with this medicine, monitor fluid levels, and then reassess a time from for another hearing study. This sweet girl ocntinues to keep us on our toes.
William will be having surgery in the weeks ahead to remove his tonsils. Because of his age, he will be admitted so we are waiting on the new specialist to call us to schedule.
The last two years has brought our family so many challenges, triumphs, fears, and blessings. As the holiday season approaches, my heart is so full. My reflections are so deep, and my blessings are so abundant. The month of November brought daily reflections of things I am thankful for. The greatest of these is my Lord and Savior. The very one who provides me with my blessings. So today, the last day of November, I am thankful for my salvation, my friends, and above all my precious family.
With Love,
JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-50860488312570565012012-02-28T20:28:00.000-08:002012-02-28T20:28:35.221-08:00She Caught a Break...We Gained a GiftJust when we thought we were winding down with doctor appointments, we are faced with yet another challenge. Or should I say, another opportunity to allow God to work.<br />
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Selfishly....I beg for mercy! My precious family has been through so much. There are times I find myself shouting to God "we've stood the test and we have praised You"! Yet, I'm quickly reminded, he isn't finished with us yet. <br />
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Faithfully...I rejoice in the fact I do have a loving God who embraces His children with loving arms when they need it most. I remain faithful in prayer, and trust in Him to help me be strong and patient.<br />
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Prayerfully...I come yet again to my knees asking God to hold my sweet girl in his arms. I often feel like I keep "asking" lately, forgetting to give thanks. I am so very thankful and so very blessed!!<br />
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Gracie had her 2 month check up and continues to thrive. She gained 1.5 pounds and grew another 2.5 inches. Her pediatrician is happy with her growth and we both laughed as Gracie felt she had some things to tell us while Dr. Roberts examined her. She really is my girl...LOVES TO TALK! It really is funny to watch her because she uses her eyes so much when she talks. She really is beginning to show such a sweet personality. <br />
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For weeks now, Gracie has had a difficult time in her swing and the carseat. She can only tolerate both for a very short amount of time before she cries out. It's not a simple cry....and you mother's know, you know your baby's cries! It's a cry as if she's in pain. Many times, I have had to stop 2 or 3 times to take her out of her seat and comfort her while traveling from one side of town to the other. I guess it goes without saying, it was a long trip to Florida and back. I mentioned my concerns with the doctor and asked if she could check her back just to make sure her spine was lined up correctly and there weren't any problems with her back that could cause her pain. She did check her back and everything was fine. She then performed another examination and became concerned that her hips may be displaced. She explained to us this is common with breech babies. Although Gracie was not breeched at birth, she was breeched several times during the pregnancy and as late as 26 weeks. With this fact, as well as her examination, she felt it best to refer her for an ultrasound of her hip. She reassured me it could be nothing, but all indications were that this may be the case.<br />
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As we left, Fred and I began to talk about all our trials over the past 19 months. I said to him "can we or our children catch a break...I just want Gracie to catch a break". He quickly reminded me, she did catch a break...she's here, alive, happy, and healthy. Wow...did that humble me. He is right! We have our precious girl, and daily she brings so much joy to our home, our hearts, and our family. <br />
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As much as I am ready for God to say "my work is done in you...for now...my child", I'm looking forward! I am once again accepting His plan and His desires for our Gracie and our family. Truth be told, God is NEVER really done with us. So long as we are on this Earth we are a work in progress. He uses us to tell His story and share His Love. <br />
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Last April, God saw fit to create a life in me. He saw Fred and I worthy of taking this life and using her for Him. Lately, my Grace seems to have left me, and I have found myself in a rut! I'm frustrated, tired, and discouraged. However, last night was a true night of reflection for me. I found myself asking for forgiveness. I turned, yet again, to Him to seek strength and patience. <br />
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So, she did catch a break! Each smile, each coo, and each night I rock her in my arms are my daily reminders He is faithful if we trust Him. So I will continue to trust Him. I will continue to remain faithful in prayer. I will continue to turn to him when I feel hopeless, lost, and frustrated. I will continue to praise Him. Most of all, I will continue to remain humbled and gracious, He chose us to be Gracie's mommy and daddy. What an honor, what a pleasure, and what a Gift!<br />
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With Love,<br />
JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-19799845578433659452012-02-22T19:22:00.000-08:002012-02-22T19:22:32.864-08:00Doctors...Check-ups....& Praise!It's been a long time since my last post. Needless to say, things have been very busy in the Ashford home. Brace yourself.....this is a long one!<br />
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I honestly believe I have been at some doctor's appointment every week since the beginning of January. We have caught up with dentist appointments, eye appointments, check-up appointments, and many newborn appointments and specialists for Gracie. I will welcome March with open arms as we only have two appointments that entire month (as of now)!<br />
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We are continuing to remain busy with all three kids. Amber is constantly on the go with chorus at school, youth group at church, and either having friends here, or she's visiting friends elsewhere. William, well, he's our precious William...always making us laugh and into something. He is learning so many new words (more, Elmo, love you, apple juice...just to name a few). He adores his sisters, and give Gracie super wet kisses several times a day. Gracie is now sleeping 5 to 6 hours most nights which is a welcomed blessing. For many weeks, she and William were on completely different schedules at bedtime and naptime. Hence the gap in posts...I've been exhausted. She continues to bless our home with her precious smiles, cooing, and giggles. She loves to talk (mmmmm wonder where she gets that)! We could not be more proud of our three kids.<br />
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We did meet with the ENT for Gracie. He's a wonderful doctor and we trust his professional knowledge regarding Gracie's hearing. We did get a final determination there is no fluid. So we are continuing to test for hearing loss. We were also able to determine that at certain decibles in both ears she shows a hearing loss. However, these are strictly "sound waves" and we cannot really determine much more until she can communicate with us. Since she failed in the hospital, it was reported to the State of Georgia as a hearing loss, therefore, there are guidelines for her ENT. He is required to administer his own ABR as a follow up to the hospital's administration. (Thank goodness for good insurance....these appointments add up!) We will take Gracie to Scottish Rite on March 22nd to have the ABR done. As of now, they plan on doing it while she's napping to avoid sedation. We are hoping this remains the case. This will determine in a little more depth her degree of loss. We do know she can hear, we are just looking at a loss at certain decibles.<br />
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William was diagnosed with Ptosis as a preemie. This is a condition where one of his eye muscles was weaker than the other. This has been monitored since he came home from the hospital. At his 18 month check up with the eye doctor he was released! His eye looks great, and they no longer feel they need to continue to monitor him. However, he does need to see a pediatric orthopedic doctor next week who will check his legs and feet. His feet are slightly turning in and his legs are also turned a little at his knees. The pediatrician thinks it could be positional from the womb and could correct in time. However, she wanted him to see a specialist in case there needed to be some interventions to help them correct. It doessn't slow him down, that's for sure.<br />
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Amber is doing GREAT! She had her routine eye appointment and will need a slightly stronger perscription, but other than that, she's in great health and BUSY BUSY BUSY! She continues to be such a light in my eyes and often I lean on her for so much support. She's simply so sweet, and always willing to help with the little ones. She is getting ready for D-Now next weekend with the youth group, then the big New York trip the end of May with youth choir. I have to say...I'm jealous. New York!!!!!! They will be singing at a national monument in D.C., then heading to New York!<br />
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As you can see, the kids keep me busy. I'm gearing up this week and next to do some serious Spring cleaning which is long overdue. I'm feeling good these days and have recovered well. I will most likely require a minor surgery in the weeks ahead due to some minor complications from bedrest and the c-section. It's nothing major, and quite common, but still surgery and I'm tired of doctors and hospitals. I finally started teaching the 2's Sunday School class at church and it has truly been blessing my heart. I spent today decorating my room. There are times I do miss the "boring" days where I could get countless hours of sleep. However, chasing my kiddos, teaching Sunday School, and working on the final coursework for my doctorate keeps me busy in the most rewarding ways. As tired as I have been, and continue to be, I could not feel more complete and more blessed. <br />
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It would be unfair to say all of this, without saying there have been challenges in the past few weeks. The psychological, emotional, and physical impacts of 4 1/2 months of bedrest have proved to have lingering challenges. I often become very anxious about Fred going to work each day and I don't like to be alone. My doctors have reassured me this is normal and with time my hormones and emotions will return to normal. I have spent these weeks trying to regain my sense of independence which I lost for 4 months and am finally feeling "normal" again.<br />
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So, as I wrap up this post, I hope you and yours are well. For months, my post centered around a weak, humble, child of God crying in need for prayer, strength, and courage to face each day. I saw God reveal in me strength I never thought I had, courage to face each day with praise despite the storm, and a new revelation of the power of prayer. Now, I return to an ordinary woman striving to walk an extraordinary life with Christ. Each day brings the reminder of God's Love and a chance to get it right all over again. I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, and some days, I loose all my Grace, however my God forgives me, loves me, and continues to carry me through each day as only He sees fit. Not sure about you, but I find that to be very comforting.<br />
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With Love,<br />
JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-33540906918993828602012-01-12T20:29:00.000-08:002012-01-12T20:29:43.799-08:00A Full Heart.......A Busy LifeWow! I'm a bit behind with my blog. I hope it's not too long.<br />
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We are continuing to adjust to having a newborn in the house. I must say, it's a sweet pleasure adding Elizabeth Grace "Gracie" to our home. Each day is a reminder of how precious life is.<br />
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Prior to Christmas we took William to meet Santa Claus. Well...let's just say he wasn't so "excited" about this guy in the red suit with all the white hair on his face.<br />
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We had a wonderful Christmas celebrating with our family. It was different being here and not in Florida, but being here reminded us of the precious life we had just brought into this world. We kept with our normal traditions, opening one gift Christmas Eve, pajama picture by the tree, breakfast pizza and sausage balls Christmas morning, Santa made his debut, and a wonderful Christmas dinner with a homemade cheesecake courtesy of my daddy! I truly missed being at my mom and dad's house and celebrating with my brother and his family, but we counted our many blessings and enjoyed celebrating the very Savior that saved our girl.<br />
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Amber spent a week in Arkansas with mom and dad visiting our family there. She had a wonderful time and I'm sure getting away was fun for her. She is such a great big sister (I've said it a time and time again) but she truly is. She just loves on Gracie and William all the time. William runs to her every afternoon when she walks in from school and reaches for kisses. It melts my heart to see her interact with them with such gentleness and love. <br />
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William is adjusting as well and much better than I ever imagined. He loves his little sister and constantly kisses her and runs to her cradle every time he hears her whimper or cry. He loves her so much he wants to "share" his toys and does this by throwing them over the cradle. So we are continuing to work on this. He loves to sit and hold her with mommy's help and is learning to pat her and rub her with "gentle hands". He loves to "help" so he holds the diaper while we change Gracie, he loves to wipe her mouth when she spits up (and when she doesn't, ha) and really loves to take her socks on and off. It's a lot of fun watching him interact with her. <br />
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Fred learned this week he was given an internship to teach at Gwinnett Online Campus. This has potential to lead to a placement position which is an awesome opportunity for him. I'm so excited for him and this opportunity. He has worked so hard and deserves this so much.<br />
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Gracie is growing like crazy. She eats ALL the time and is developing quite a personality. She has started smiling and cooed for the first time tonight. She's still learning to sleep. As tired as I am, and how difficult the nights are with her up and down all night, I am reminded of our journey. Our prayers could have been answered so differently, but God gave us the "yes" we prayed for and for that, I will take the sleepless nights. She's a precious little girl and I find myself at times just kissing all over her sweet cheeks. <br />
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We have an appointment tomorrow to meet with an audiologist with Scottish Rite for Gracie. While in the hospital, they conducted a hearing test which is standard. However, Gracie did not pass in her right ear. They did three tests, one which included electrodes. Her left ear appears okay, but she appears to have some degree of hearing loss in her right ear. We remain optimistic that this may have just been fluid build up, but hope to find out more tomorrow. We know who holds our hand, and her hand, so we continue to lean on Him and Him alone. I'll update on her diagnosis once we know more.<br />
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I continue to be so thankful to all our friends and family who have and continue to pray for our family. The journey was hard, we fought hard, and in the end, we were rewarded with a precious little girl. I have found myself at times missing her in my tummy but am so very thankful she's here and in our arms. As I reflect on all we have learned, I beleive the greatest of these lessons is to trust Him even in the greatest of trials. When traveling through life's trials, we often feel like God isn't near and sometimes not listening to our cries. There were times in our journey I struggled with these feelings. However, I learned He is there, I just had to be patient and listen. My prayer is that through our journey, my words, and our girl, that you may find this same comfort if you are in the midst of a trial. <br />
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I'm going to sign off for now and try to update some pictures to Facebook. It's amazing how busy life has become but I WOULDN'T change it for anything.<br />
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Love,<br />
JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-13003082668937405012011-12-20T19:47:00.000-08:002011-12-20T19:47:16.027-08:00Amazing Grace How Sweet The SoundYes, our precious girl is here and we are cherishing every moment with her. I'd like to blog about our experience in bringing her into this world as it culminating a long, prayerful, emotional journey that many of you traveled alongside us.<br />
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I spent much of Friday night finalizing things around the house and texting and chattng away with a great friend. Needless to say....I was restless, anxious, and excited, so we were on the phone well after midnight. After a few hours of rest, Fred and I got up bright and early and made the trip to Northside.<br />
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We arrived as scheduled at 6:30, however it was after 8:00 before we were placed in a room. We got in, got settled, and then looked at each other with a sense of uncertainty as to is this really real...are we going to meet her today? Things were busy, so not much went as planned, however, the day proceeded. My OB decided rather than wait on the epidural he would go ahead and remove my stitch. Well...that proved to be extremely painful and took me a short while to gather myself once that procedure was over. Shortly after, we began pitocin and then I received an epidural. <br />
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As anticipated, I had quite a bit of scar tissue which slowed things considerably. The midwife and my OB spent much of the morning and early afternoon trying to tear away at the scar tissue to help me progress. By mid/late afternoon I had made progress, however, Elizabeth was not dropping. Finally, after a very long day, the call was made at 6:15 for a C-section. As we prepared, I was overcome with emotion. I was tired, very tired, but now a bit afraid. However, I was reminded in my soul, He was with me, He had carried me this far, and He was not going to leave me or us now. I loved on Amber and William and gave them lots of kisses and reassured them all was well, while all the time hiding my tears. Mom and Dad took them to the waiting room, and Fred and I finalized paperwork and preparations to be taken to the OR.<br />
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We arrived in the OR and my OB was just as excited as we were. After lots of tugging, pulling, shaking, etc....we heard my OB say, wow...she is a big one! Shortly after, we heard her cry. It was at that moment, I fell apart. The cry I was hearing was the cry we, at one point, never thought we would hear. This cry was more than a new baby cry...it symbolized a journey of Faith, Love, and Prayer and as she cried, I felt the prescence of God holding my hand and just as I had reassured my children minutes earlier all was well, He was reassuring me at that moment, all was well.<br />
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I saw Elizabeth briefly, and Fred left with her to wait for me in our recovery room. Once I was finished in the OR, I joined them at which point I was finally able to hold my precious angel. All I could do was kiss her precious nose, lips, head, and stroke every part of her precious body. I could not believe she was real, the moment was real, and our journey was complete.<br />
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I did not sleep much at all that night. The pain was great, but I spent much of the night just holding her, staring at her, and finding myself in thanksgiving and praise over and over again. I knew she was here by the works of His hands, and only His hands. I knew if it weren't for prayer and Faith, that moment would not have been.<br />
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We spent the next few days in the hospital loving on her, welcoming her, and embracing the new life God had so richly blessed us with while continuing to remain humble. Time and time again, from OR recovery, to my many nurses, each would ask the other, "Have you heard this baby's story?". Sure it's a story, but I think now, it's much more than that. It's a revelation that God is real, prayer is real, and Faith does carry you. Our journey tells the story of God's love rather than simply just being "a story". Elizabeth is the living testimony of God's Grace, and His desire to Love us.<br />
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Yet, through it all, I am reminded that although our prayers were answered just as we had desired, there are many mommy's right now grieving the loss of their child and grieving for prayers that weren't answered as they desired. However, I still believe God answers all our prayers, but sometimes, they aren't how we want them answered. It is up to us to find the beauty in these moments, and trust in Him to give us the strength and courage to embrace the jouney that comes with those moments. Again, I am reminded of my friend Sarabeth's journey and her reliance on Faith. I admire her Grace and count it a blessing to call her my friend. She has taken her "unanswered prayer" and turned it into an answered prayer that has allowed her to share God's Love with so many.<br />
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Tonight, we are home. I'm still in a lot of pain, but I am home with my sweet Amber, my precious William, and my Amazing Elizabeth Grace. As I lay down shortly to rest before she wakes up, I am brought to tears by the blessings God has given me. Blessings I don't deserve. My children have been loved and cared for this weekend by my wonderful parents while Fred and I welcomed Elizabeth. My home is decorated for Christmas, Dad is baking, and mom continues to prepare meals to feed us. I hope, just as we are, you are reminded of the Reason for the Season. <br />
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I will post more pictures soon.<br />
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Love,<br />
JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-76867328462023131712011-12-07T19:35:00.000-08:002011-12-07T19:35:47.266-08:0010 Days and Counting...............Counting the days! This past week I have struggled a great deal with frustration, lack of patience, and very little grace (just as Beckee). I guess this is normal for any pregnancy rounding the "final" corner. I entered 37 weeks this week and am feeling every bit of it as Elizabeth continues to drop and grow. As of last Friday, they estimated her at 7 lbs! Can you believe it....7 lbs. She is going to be the bigggest of my three babies, yet the one who gave us the most fear. <br />
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We met with my general OB yesterday, and the plan remains....I have been scheduled to be at the hospital by 6:30 a.m. next Saturday, the 17th. So we will be up bright and early on the road. I cannot believe it's 10 days away! It just doesn't seem real. Mom and Dad will arrive Friday night and plan on making their way to the hospital once we get there and get settled. We are not sure how long of a day it will be. The plan is to admit me early. MY OB will be there, which is a huge blessing, and he plans to remove the stitch, break my water, and begin pitocin right away. The stitch removal can be extremely painful, so we will decide at that time if I will go ahead with an epidural. We won't know if a c-section will be necessary until things get started. He seems optimistic and so I'll follow his lead on that one! <br />
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We are thrilled to meet our precious Elizabeth and truly see the work of His hands. Not knowing how the day will proceed, we are not sure about visitors for Saturday. We do know that we will want to make it a very special day introducing Amber and William to their new sister. This will be especially significant for William as he is so young. We pray he is able to make the adjsutment to her outside of my belly which he has come to love dearly loving all over here "in there". We'll be anxious to see if this continues once she's "out" and real. Amber is such an amazing big sister, and I know she'll be nothing but amazing as she meets Elizabeth. Mom and Dad are just as excited as well. They are the best grandparents, and each grandchild has been so special to them. We are so thankful they will be here to welcome Elizabeth as well as be there with the kids.<br />
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However, Sunday, we will welcome visitors with open arms. We are well aware that each of you have shared so much of our journey with us and through your prayers and dedication to our family, we will be holding our girl in our arms. We are looking forward to sharing her with each of you, but want to make sure we reserve the early moments Saturday for our kids and family. <br />
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Needless to say, the next 10 days will be BUSY. We will be making sure the house is all decorated and ready for Christmas, wrapping up all the final cleaning and organizing, and meeting with both doctors one last time. I doubt I will have time to do a post before next Saturday. I will, however, make sure to update via FB and the Blog by Saturday evening with lots of pictures of our precious Elizabeth Grace! As I type, I am overcome with such heavy emotions. <br />
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In May, I had a sweet childhood friend anxiously await the day of arrival for her precious daughter Faith. Faith lived 42 minutes, then went to live with Jesus. As I/we anxiously await the day of arrival for our Elizabeth, my emotions and thoughts think about Sarabeth and her precious Faith. She has and continues to be such an inspiration to me. So next Saturday, as we hold Elizabeth in our arms, I will be reminded of Faith...Faith that got us this far, and the precious Faith that Sarabeth has shared with so many people in her own personal time of grief. God has a plan, and at that time, we were unaware as to how much Faith we would need to carry us. As I mourned for Sarabeth, God knew His plan and was preparing His plan all along. He never fails!<br />
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With Love,<br />
JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-85592277577631427902011-11-30T10:34:00.000-08:002011-11-30T10:34:30.087-08:00It's a Date....A Retirement....A Sweet 16....and a Christmas of a Lifetime!As posted on my status update on FB, we finally have a date for induction. The fact that we are even discussing an induction brings me to tears as we culminate this journey with our precious girl. I'm not sure what emotions I feel right now or will feel when we see her. I do know that without Faith and Prayer and the Love of my Lord and Savior, we would not have our girl or even be discussing an induction.<br />
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We met with my general OB yesterday. Many of you know, I have battled with one emotion lately....FRUSTRATION. I'm so ready for her to be here. I believe a large part of that involves my continued fear of something happening until she's in my arms. Not to mention, I'm just physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. We have been fighting for her since I was 5 weeks pregnant and I will fight to the end...I'm just ready and tired.<br />
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After a lengthy discussion with my OB, we were calmed and left with a clearer understanding of why we have to "wait". I am on heprin, a blood thinner. I can't just be removed from it and there is a time lapse for it to wear off. So, my OB is trying to schedule an "elective" induction so I can be taken off the heprin in time for my blood count to rise in case of surgery or to receive an epidural. Insurance will not allow an elective induction prior to 39 weeks. I've been beggin to remove the stitch, however, if he does that, the possibility of me going into labor on my own increases, and due to the blood thinner, I would not be able to get an epidural and in the case of a c-section would need to be put to sleep. So, as we stand now, December 17th is the date! There is still the "risk" of going on my own before hand and/or tearing the stitch. So we just pray now, she stays where she is for 17 more days.<br />
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We are overcome with excitement and anticipation of holding her in our arms! Amber turns 16 on December 15th so Elizabeth will make a wonderful present for Amber. I've often talked about how proud I am of her. It brings me to tears to know she will be 16, but she's such an amazing 16 year old and a wonderful blessing to her baby brother and sister. She even agreed to postpone her Sweet 16 Party to the end of January since things were so crazy right now! William and Elizabeth won't realize it now, but one day, they will know how much she does love them and is so proud of them. The simple way she interacts with William, playing with him, loving on him, helping with him, and comforting him, is precious. He's even learned when he reaches the top of the staircase right where her room is and boy does he go running in there! She just lights up when he does! It would be so easy for many teenagers to be annoyed or bothered by a baby brother or sister, but she isn't and never has been. I'm so proud of her.<br />
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God continues to show Himself in this journey. Mom officially retires on December 16th making that her last day of teaching after 38 years! Bitter sweet, I'm sure! But...with the 17th being the date, she and daddy are expected to arrive here the night of the 16th. So, Happy Retirement to my Mom as she welcomes another granddaughter. This will be our first Christmas not being able to go to Florida. As difficult as that will be, we are reminded of the Reason for the Season as we will celebrate Christmas with our Elizabeth Grace, who we thought we may lose months ago. I can't imagine a more blessed Christmas than to share the power of Prayer and Faith with my other two children on Christmas morning. It will be nice having mom and dad here though!<br />
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We will keep you updated in the days ahead and on her arrival. Amber beat me to FB when William was born, so we'll see if she beats me again! She was able to witness his birth and it was truly amazing to share that time with her. I'm hoping to share that same experience with her as we welcome Elizabeth into this world.<br />
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Love,<br />
JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-15538409176608158132011-11-24T10:09:00.000-08:002011-11-24T10:09:33.679-08:00My Reflection...My Faith....Your BlessingSo while our Thanksgiving dinner is finishing up on the stove and in the oven, I thought I would sit and rest a bit and update our blog.<br />
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I woke up this morning with so much emotion on my heart. I believe I was simply overcome with thanksgiving in a way I have never experienced. I began my morning at 5:30 (before William even woke up). I seasoned our turkey and put him in the oven to began cooking. I then prepared Amber's two must haves, sausage balls and breakfast pizza. Once all that had started, William woke up...of course Amber was hours later, haha. <br />
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As I stirred around the house cleaning the kitchen, I began to think about all I have been blessed with and all I have to be thankful for. As abundant as those things are, they are all only because of the love of my Lord and Savior. In my life, I have been blessed with a wonderful family and amazing friends. I have been blessed with His provision, His Faithfulness, and His Love to me, even when I least deserved it. As I continued to reflect, I realized my greatest of blessings were right in front of me. God has given me such an amazing husband. I don't think we truly realized the significance of our wedding vows until this past year. "Richer and Poorer, Sickness and in Health". As we have stood strong for each other for 14 days until we brought our sweet William home from the NICU, through our house fire, through guiding and loving our teenager through challenging "teenage" times, and walking in Faith for our Elizabeth, we have stood the test and are a testament of relying on our vows and trusting in God. <br />
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Above all, I am so very thankful for my three beautiful children. There is nothing in this earthly life that brings me more happiness, more joy, and more love than my children. Each one of them has their own unique personality that defines who they are. As a mother of a teenager, there is no greater joy than watching my daughter grow and walk in Christ. <br />
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So as we prepare to sit down together and eat, reflect, and give our thanks, I am so honored God chose me to be Fred's wife, and Amber, William, and Elizabeth Grace's mother. For our family, this Thanksgiving has a more significant meaning. We will be giving thanks for the power of prayer and for our Elizabeth Grace. 17 weeks ago, we began a journey that would challenge our Faith more than ever. However, as a family, we have met that challenge, followed His calling, and placed our trust in Him. For that, we have been rewarded. As we prepare to welcome her into our family, we are anxiously waiting to wrap our arms around her and daily tell her the story of Jesus Christ.<br />
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As you enjoy this day with your family, I pray that you stop for just a moment and reflect on all your blessings. For some of you, they won't be hard to find, for others, you may have to search a bit, and for others you may feel like you have none. I trust that through our story, and our Elizabeth Grace, you will know your greatest blessing and the Love and Forgiveness of Jesus Christ. <br />
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Enjoy your day, eat LOTS, and most of all be happy!<br />
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Love,<br />
JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-67542778260950514022011-11-20T18:48:00.000-08:002011-11-20T18:48:58.593-08:00We Are Finally Ready!I'm a bit behind on updating on Elizabeth! Yes, I am still pregnant, and tomorrow (Monday) marks 35 weeks! <br />
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We met with both our specialist and my general OB last week. Last weekend was a little eventful resulting in an overnight stay at Northside for monitoring and medications. This was followed by my regular weekly appointment on Monday with my specialist and my OB on Thursday. Due to all the activity I'm having with contractions some medication adjustments were made. I will, however, continue with my final two 17P injections. I have had this injection once a week since I was 17 weeks pregnant. Essentially, the progestrone released keeps my cervix from "changing" despite the MANY MANY MANY contractions I am having. The plan all along was to be on these injections until 36 weeks. So, neither doctor is budging on this one.<br />
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The next issue at hand is the consensus on when I will be admitted for removal of my stitch. My specialist has agreed all along, 36 weeks would be sufficient and is pretty standard. My general OB would prefer I wait until 37 weeks. Of course I'm ready, but the more challenging question is Plan B, if my body does not transition into labor. The initial discussion is to admit me for 24 hours, then send me home if nothing happens and a scheduled induction/c-section would occur at 39 weeks (the Monday before Christmas). <br />
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So here we are...I see my specialist tomorrow. Both doctors have scheduled a meeting to discuss a birth plan for Elizabeth Grace and try to reach an agreement as to the date for stitch removal and whether or not they'll both agree to aide through induction at that same time if I do not go into labor on my own.<br />
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In an attempt to minimize more time off work for Fred, if we can all agree on a 36 week stitch removal with induction, then we will most likely request next Thursday (36 weeks 3 days) to admit me and hopefully meet our precious girl over the weekend. <br />
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So...............that was a lot to take in, but needless to say we are anxiously waiting to hear what the doctors decide tomorrow.<br />
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I personally cannot believe we are at this point. At our last appointment, Elizabeth weighed nearly 6 pounds, so I know she is at 6 pounds if not over by now. Based on her movements, kicks, and location of her head, she is a very LONG little girl as well. She is super strong, and a lot of the time, I can feel her little foot and even measure it with my fingers. <br />
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Every kick, every movement, and every appointment is a reminder of God's Faithfulness to us. Our human nature is to call her a little miracle, and that she truly is. However, there really are no miracles. God has His hand on all we do and to discount that with calling all great things miracles, is discounting the power of Faith, Love, and Prayer. <br />
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The past 16 months for our family have been challenging. We have weathered one premature birth, the NICU, a house fire, and then of course our journey with Elizabeth. However, we have and will continue to Praise Him for his Faithfulness to us, His never ceasing Love, and the privilege He has given us to share His Love. We have stood the test, and are ready to take the next step in this journey which is to Serve Him in all we do.<br />
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I will update once we hear from our doctors.<br />
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Love,<br />
JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-87228255909292348522011-11-14T17:47:00.000-08:002011-11-14T17:47:54.882-08:00Would I really push rewind?I must say....it's been an eventful, busy few days in our household! <br />
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I want to start my blog by shouting to the world how proud I am of my amazing husband. His Master's Degree was conferred tonight, FINALLY! He was to have finished in the Spring at the same time of the house fire. Well, needless to say, it was "postponed". Then, through all we've been going through and all he's had to handle with the kids and our home while I've been on bedrest, he was finally able to finish. I could not be more proud of him!!!!<br />
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Next...let's just say....Elizabeth Grace should be making her debut within the week. I started contracting Friday night. This is nothing new so I just tried to carry on as usual. However, when Saturday night rolled around and I was still contracting (4 - 6 an hour) I knew 29 hours later, something was wrong. So we headed to Northside. I was admitted for monitoring overnight and around 2 a.m. the contractions increased and intensified. They immediately gave me trebuteline (sp?). This did not work with William, so I was a bit hesitant. However, it did stop the contractions and I was discharged and sent home around 10:00 Sunday morning. Well, by mid-day Sunday, everything started back up AGAIN. I decided I was not going back to Northside and would just see my specialist Monday (today) for my routine appointment). Well...Miss Elizabeth is LOW LOW LOW and weighs a great 5 lbs 13 oz. I am continuing to contract and did so in his office. He feels like we should be meeting her any day and sent me home. He wants my contractions to be a bit more regular and closer together before admitting me back to L&D and cutting my stitch. He said from this point forward there will be no steps to hold off the labor like the other night.<br />
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We are as ready as we can be to meet our precious girl and are so excited about the days ahead. All the nurses in my specialist"s office including my specialist truly believe she is a little miracle and in the words of my specialist "you have defied all odds in the pregnancy". In addition to all the issues with my cervix, I also have Factor V Leiden, which makes me high risk for clotting (hence the blood thinner injections I take daily). In most cases, these pregnancies result in low birthweight. We see in Miss Elizabeth that's not the case. In fact, she is measuring between 36 and 37 weeks. So I guess you can say we "defied all the odds", but I'd rather think there was a Greater Physician holding our girl's hand and has once again proven Himself Faithful. <br />
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I am looking forward to the Holidays ahead. Although this journey has brought us through so many challenges, we continue to face the financial impacts of all we've been through. However, as Thanksgiving rolls around and shortly after that, Christmas, we are reminded of what truly matters. I could not be happier, more content, or more at peace with this amazing life God has blessed me with. Sometimes, I'd prefer a rewind button (especially since my sweet Amber is turning 16 in a month). But what is a rewind button really worth when looking forward brings me such big smiles and such a full heart. So in the end, I think I'm liking this "play" button I have pushed and have no intentions of pushing rewind except in my memories and stories as I tell my children of God's love for them and our testimony of that Love.<br />
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I will keep you posted in the coming days as we anxiously await the arrival of our precious Elizabeth Grace.Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-79797950229587284972011-11-10T12:24:00.000-08:002011-11-10T12:24:37.591-08:00It's a Simple Life....But So Full of Blessings!Wow! Yes........I'M STILL PREGNANT! VERY PREGNANT....<br />
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Tomorrow will mark 33 weeks and 4 days into this pregnancy. You may or may not remember, but that's when William was born at exactly 33 weeks and 4 days. So from all appearances, it looks like this little stinker will pass her brother! Can you believe it?!?!<br />
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Our appointment went well this week. He is no longer doing any cervical measurements or FFN tests as they are both no longer relevant. From this point forward, I will be monitored once a week by my specialist and once a week by my OB. My OB will administer the weekly NST on Elizabeth. <br />
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Monday will mark 34 weeks. I must say, it's a bit emotional as we become more and more aware of the amazing power of our God and the work of the One True Physician within my womb. Both my doctors continue to be clear about how much I have defied the odds...wink, wink......but you and I know different. There were no odds....only the need to rely solely on Faith and the power of trusting in Him and His many promises to us.<br />
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Needless to say, we are READY. My suitcase is packed, batteries charged in cameras, Elizabeth's bag is packed, and the carseat has been washed and sterilized! <br />
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I am finally doing a bit more (against orders still). I attended Amber's True Love Waits Ceremony (previous post), her youth choir Fall Follies performance Sunday, and Fred's Softball banquet last night. I'm feeling okay, but when I do get out, I pay for it later. I'm still very weak, out of breath, and just plain pregnant. <br />
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We will measure Elizabeth again on Monday and I will see my OB on Thursday. I'm convinced at this point, I'm going to be pregnant forever. I do however, have a few choice words for this precious little girl.....Ha Ha. We did learn last week she has a head FULL of hair. Which is really funny, because William had little to no hair until he was 8 months old. However, Amber was born with a head full of hair.<br />
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Words can't describe how anxious we are to finally get our hands on her, love on her, and soak up her precious little life. We remain blessed beyond words and so very proud to be her mommy and daddy, just as we are with each of our beautiful children. We live a simple life, but I could not imagine it any other way.<br />
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As I close, please continue to remember Ben and Katie Horton and their precious daughter Lucy Jane "LJ" in your prayers (previous post). Their daughter was born Tuesday with CDH. Her first 2 days have been FABULOUS and her surgery went well today. It actually went far better than the "doctors" expected. Once again.....there is a GREATER PHYSCIAN. She'll have some challenging days ahead with recovery and her parents will need lots of prayers as they travel to and from the NICU to be by LJ's side. They are amazing parents and God continues to shine through their little girl.<br />
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I hope as Thanksgiving approaches you are able to stop and reflect on your life and find many things to be thankful for. Remain focused on why you have what you have and remember to thank Him. For our family, we are simply thankful for our Faith, thankful for Prayer, and thankful for such wonderful friends and family. Who would ever have thought such a simple life could be so rich in blessings?!?! <br />
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Love,<br />
JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-61308098006751894372011-11-03T17:29:00.000-07:002011-11-03T17:29:52.777-07:00True Love WaitsSo...I guess there are some things a mommy just doesn't miss. My greatest challenge throughout these past months has been trying to juggle what is best for Elizabeth Grace (bedrest, obviously) and trying to meet the simple needs of both Amber and William. I have always recognized the critical nature of our situation with Elizabeth, but as I noted in a former post, I'm a mommy of three, and nothing changes that fact. <br />
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Two weeks ago, against Fred's wishes and believe it or not Amber's wishes, I attended her first Chorus performance at school. Although I spent the evening in an extreme amount of discomfort, I had no regrets about going. I was so very proud of her and so proud to be there listening to her sing. Just another proud mommy moment!!!!! <br />
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Last night, the youth group at church held their True Love Waits Ceremony. Of course, I WAS NOT going to miss this. So I prayed for the strength to withstand the evening, and once again against both Fred and Amber's wishes, I went. Again, I had no regrets. Again, I was one proud mommy both during and when we left and wouldn't have changed a thing. We are so blessed to have such an amazing youth minister, Jamie Merritt who along with his wife, Tiffany, lead and guide our youth in so many amazing ways. If you have a teenager, you know far too well the challenges they face in "the world". We as parents have to set the example while also guiding our children through a church that also embraces these same values. I was moved by the stories shared and the prayer time I had with Amber and her sincerity. <br />
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It is so wonderful to be able to share with her my life decisions and use them as learning tools for her. Sometimes, I wish I could push rewind and make her a baby once again. But, that's not His design and it shouldn't be mine either. As nice as it would be to hold her in my arms as a tiny baby again, I must say, seeing her blossom into the amazing young woman she is becoming is just as gratifying and fullfilling. I am so proud of her committment and I pray she sees this through in her heart until the day she finds the man the Lord is preparing for her. <br />
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So tonight, I don't feel the need to do a daily gratitude list for the month of November. Gratitude is shown in what we say and what we do with and for those we love daily. My prayer is that as I travel through life, I demonstrate gratitude through my words and my actions with and for those around me. Even through life's greatest fears and challenges, we have so much to be thankful for, if and only if, we choose to see it in that light. For our family, these past few months has taught us to simply be thankful for one another and the love of our friends and family. To some, that may seem insignificant where you are in your life. However, I pray that for you, it doesn't take one of life's greatest challenges for you to realize what is significant. Be thankful today for each other, for the love of those around you, and most of all for the fact that Jesus died for you, and for that alone, you will find thanksgiving daily.Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-6286983643974638762011-10-31T19:17:00.000-07:002011-10-31T19:17:46.175-07:00Hanging On....By a Thread!!!We have now entered a much anticipated phase of this pregnancy. We saw our specialist today. Once again...to his surprise, I am still pregnant! Yes, I am, very pregnant. I am now 32 weeks pregnant. This of course is a milestone we never thought we would see. Elizabeth Grace is doing great and measured today at 4 lbs and 12 oz. We were able to get a few quick glimpses at her on 3D and she does have some chubby little cheeks. Needless to say, we are thrilled to be where we are, see her doing so well, and anxiously anticipating the coming weeks.<br />
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My specialist is allowing my OB to make many of the calls from this point forward with regards to timing. Neither one will be doing any FFN tests anymore as they feel these are no longer relevant. My OB will make the final decisions on stitch removal, inductions, and c-section as those times approach in the weeks ahead.<br />
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As of now, here is where we stand. My OB does not want to remove the stitch until I am 37 weeks. This puts us into the first week of December. At that point, they will see if I go into labor. If not, I will be released and sent home. If by week 39 I have not gone into labor, he will schedule a c-section due to how big they anticipate Elizabeth to be. My 17P injections will continue until week 36, however, I will remain on the Heperin until we narrow her birth down to within a day or so.<br />
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We did learn today, she has dropped again since last week and I am feeling every bit of it. This indicates the contractions, cramping, and pressure I am feeling are productive. Essentially, if this continues, we could be lookng at another week or so. So in the Ashford home, we are washing little girl clothes and blankets, packing a little girl bag for the hospital, and washing the infant car seat. The entire time, we continue to stand in amazement we are even at this point in this journey and are so very thankful to be here. Not to mention EXCITED! <br />
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Needless to say, things are getting busy around here for the first time in a while. Although he still insist on bedrest, I am slowly pulling the reigns back a bit in an effort to regain a bit of normalcy around our home before we welcome Elizabeth Grace. By 34 weeks, I am able to slowly regain my strength and normal routine again. I anticipate this will be difficult, but with lots of patience I will get back to normal. The good news is I have only gained 9 pounds the entire pregnancy. I feel as though I've gained much more, but the scale says different. That's never been a point of focus anyway, so it's just a side note. LOL<br />
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We are looking forward to the day when we can share our precious miracle with each of you as we know each of you have played a large role in carrying us through this journey. When going through an extended journey of this nature (life saving surgery for our baby, 14 weeks of bedrest and counting, financial burdens and loss) it would be easy to tear through a family or a marriage. But in the midst of this storm, God saw fit to draw us so amazingly close to one another. We have learned the significance of prayer and leaning on each other. We have come to value the small things such as being together and laughing at each other. We have learned the material things won't buy you happiness, but time together, prayer together, and love for each other will. Our marriage is unbelievably changed forever in ways we never imagined. I knew I married my best friend 4 years ago, however, I never really understood that until these past few months. He has dried so many of my tears, held me in his arms when I was most afraid, and lifted my spirits when I felt like I couldn't fight any more. He has repeatedly told me how beautiful I was (despite the grossness I feel on bedrest). He has fought alongside me in his own way keeping our family together, stable, happy, and fed (haha). For all these reasons, I would not change a thing that has happened in the past 3 months.<br />
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So as we move forward, we continue to do so with our hearts filled with gratitude. We enter November, with an abundance of thanksgiving. Although we continue to wait patiently, we are hanging on...literally by a thread!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-79054059539563291312011-10-30T18:58:00.001-07:002011-10-30T18:58:02.793-07:00Precious Girls and the Power of PrayerI wanted to post a link to a very special "Blog Friend". This is such a precious couple who will welcome their precious daughter Lucy Jane (LJ) in just under 2 weeks. Lucy has CHD. I am unsure as to specifics of this disorder, but you can read through their blog. Essentially, she will have to undergo some major surgeries and weeks in the NICU to prepare her to go home with her mommy and daddy.<br />
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They will be at Shands Hospital in Gainesville, Florida. My mother and father were blessed to have met them through my mom's cousin. Although we know she has some of the nations leading doctors, we also know there is a Greater Physician who will be holding LJ's hand as she enteres this world.<br />
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Please pray for her mommy and daddy for strength, courage, and Faith in the days and weeks ahead. Also, please pray for strength for LJ, and guidance for all the doctors. Their prayer, and our prayer is that LJ will be able to go home by Christmas! Wouldn't that be a sweet Christmas present!<br />
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The link to their blog is: http://bkhorton.com/2011/10/8th-update-on-little-lj/.<br />
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We know first hand the awesome power of prayer. Both our precious girls, LJ, and Elizabeth Grace will carry with them a lifetime of testimony of God's Love and the power of prayer that will carry them through into the precious little girls they will both grow to become.<br />
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Love,<br />
JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-47444654198735714952011-10-19T18:53:00.001-07:002011-10-19T19:16:46.912-07:00Simply Proud and AmazedWell, I spent 30 minutes the other evening posting a blog update and it somehow got lost in blog world. So, we'll try this again.<br /><br />We finally made it to 30 weeks! Praise the Lord. We saw our specialist on Monday and learned our itty, bitty (or so we thought) girl weighs a HUGE 4 lbs. 2 oz. She is measuring in the 73% for her gestational age, measuring at 31 weeks and 5 days. She does, however, have her daddy's trademark head, which measured at 33 weeks and 4 days. She was sticking her tongue out at us! Guess she thinks she is funny. We had a complete anatomy scan and everything looks fantastic. <br /><br />My specialist will continue to conduct the FFN test every two weeks. I have had 3 and all have been negative. However, due to the significant changes in both my funneling and my cervix, he had me promise last week I would agree to be readmitted if I got a positive. Once again, prayers answered. My FFN this week was NEGATIVE. Appears our little girl has decided to settle in for a while longer. She continues to leave my doctors and nurses speechless and at a loss for an explanation as to why I have not delivered her yet. My only response...PRAYER and FAITH!!!<br /><br />I received a second round of steroid injections for her lungs yesterday and today as well as my weekly 17P injection. No, three shots are not fun, but boy, are they worth it knowing they are for her benefit.<br /><br />So, that brings us to "The Plan"...if one even exist with this little girl. I will be 36 weeks the Monday after Thanksgiving. I will then be admitted to Labor and Delivery for stitch removal. Considering I am at nearly 3 cm dilated now, both doctors believe I should go pretty quick once the stitch is cut. However, 1 in 4 women will form scar tissue due to the length of time the stitch has been in (for me an eternity) resulting in a c-section or forced dilation. We are prayerful we can avoid a c-section, but as we have done from the beginning, we will trust in God's plan and God's plan alone. Our goal is to get Elizabeth Grace her as safely as possible. So it would appear, she may just be a Thanksgiving baby.<br /><br />I have written in many of my posts about the emotional roller coaster ride this journey has taken us through. Although we wouldn't change a moment of it and remain faithful and blessed for having traveled this journey, we are emotionally exhausted. We have gone from preparing ourselves for a "baby loss" to preparing for an extended NICU stay, to now the reality, we may actually bring our precious Elizabeth home from the hospital with us. <br /><br />I long for the moment I see her eyes for the first time and feel her precious cheeks on mine while holding her tiny fingers. I know we'll share in the normal emotions of meeting our precious girl for the first time, however, I am overcome with emotion at what I may feel looking into her eyes knowing how close we came to losing her. She has not even arrived yet, and she has already taught you, me, my children, and my family the importance of prayer, the idea of trusting in what you cannot see or understand, and accepting only one plan, the plan of God and using that to praise Him even in the storm.<br /><br />What I have learned the most is that you should not reach out to God only in your time of need. He does tell us He is there and will answer our prayers. However, we have to accept his will may not always be our will and trust in Him to answer us as only He knows what is best. These days, my prayers consist of so much thanksgiving. Of course, I always pray for protection for my children and my husband as well as peace and comfort. However, our lives have been so richly blessed by many of you in ways you may never know. How can I not be thankful and give thanks to the one who has made that happen?<br /><br />If it took this journey to draw me closer to Him, realize the strength of my commitment to my husband and my children, and to reaffirm my Faith, I will raise my hand first again! I will beg and plead for Him to choose me to travel this same journey a million more times. <br /><br />We still do not know what the coming weeks hold in store for us. But we do know, our prayers have been answered, and He isn't finished yet. My prayer for each of you is that you will find in your trials a sense of peace and comfort. An understanding of how to use your trials to the benefit of your growth in walking with Him. I promise, he will not give you trials without a purpose. It is up to you to choose to find that purpose and use it to grow.Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-82334757673507444902011-10-10T17:53:00.000-07:002011-10-10T18:13:49.621-07:00Looking ForwardToday marks 29 weeks! Today also marks another visit to the doctor. We saw our specialist today and all is the same. He has begun doing the fetal fibernectin test, which he will do every two weeks. Essentially, this is a swab test that will indicate if there is a protein present which is released when the membranes are leaking or when labor seems imminent. I have had three done and they have all been negative. The ultrasound didn't really reveal anything "new" other than very slight buldging past the stitch, but nothing that seemed "new" or concerning to him above the situation in general. He would love for me to be hospitalized, but is willing to continue as we are since things are working (the bedrest from home). However, at this point, things become a little more risky since she is growing. So, he made me promise that once I get a positive fetal fibernectin test I will agree to be readmitted. <br /><br />So, the plan now is...I will be 30 weeks on Monday. He has ordered steroid injections to be administered again next Tuesday and Wednesday with my home nurse. He said typically these are administered at 24 weeks and rarely administered twice because most mothers deliver shortly after administering the steroids. However, we have proven this different (well...God has proven this different). So they can be administered 4 to 6 weeks apart because they only last about that long. This will be the last time I receive them. In addition, we see him again Monday afternoon of which he will do another fetal fibernectin test, measurements for the baby, and anatomy scan. Needless to say, next week marks another milestone (30 weeks), as well as a busy week for me and Elizabeth. The further we go with each week is promising and now for Elizabeth it makes the difference in a ventilator or a simple c-pap to supplement oxygen (if she comes early). I'm convinced we will carry her to December! She did show signs of practice breathing and sucking in the ultrasound which made my specialist very happy.<br /><br />We had a wonderful weekend here at home. I spent much of this morning helping Amber work on her Science project "stuff". I think she and I agree...Science projects are not cool! William decided to experiment using the big boy potty and actually did it! That was hilarious. I figured if he can go get a diaper when he has a stinky then he can begin becoming exposed to the potty! LOL<br /><br />Amber has her sophmore homecoming this weekend and seems really excited about that. She's really keeping us busy (or better said...keeping Fred busy). I do what I can from the couch, and it isn't always easy! She has a chorus performance next week, Fall Follies for youth choir in 3 weeks, and youth retreat in 3 weeks. Needless to say, I keep a calendar close at hand juggling all her events, my many, many doctor appointments, bills (ewwww), and the wonderful help coming in daily to help me at home. I long for the day when I am once again a BUSY BUSY mommy. I guess I took much of that for granted in the past, and don't foresee that happening again. I can't wait to be "busy" again running errands, grocery shopping, cleaning my house, and chasing my three kids around. It's been a long several months, and our journey isnt' over, however, each day reveals more blessings and answered prayers than I ever thought I would ever deserve. So, for that, I wouldn't change a thing.<br /><br />That pretty much sums up the Ashford household! As the weeks move forward, we realize how blessed we have been and continue to be. Each of our children teach us so much about patience, love, life, and prayer. I draw much of my strength from the three children God has blessed me with. I have said it before...we continue to be honored God chose us to be Elizabeth's mommy and daddy and chose our family to travel this journey. <br /><br />I listened to Joel O'steen Sunday. He compared our lives to that of a window in a car. He said the reason the windshield is so large and the rearview mirror is so small is because what has happened in our past is so small compared to looking to our future (along those lines). I truly believe that. I don't discard the "past" few months, however, when I look forward, I see nothing but great things. Great things for my children, my husband, me, and my family. I will forever look back on our journeys and trials and reflect on God's Grace during those times. However, I think looking forward offers so much Hope and Joy!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-84454961814520573602011-10-02T13:42:00.001-07:002011-10-02T13:52:09.588-07:00No Burden Is Too GreatI thought I would write a quick blog asking for lots of prayers tonight. I see my specialist tomorrow. If you read my last post, you know our appointment Thursday was not "great". So tomorrow is a result of that and a chance for our specialist to follow up to offer more direction. Specifically, I am asking for the following:<br /><br />1. Please pray the stitch is holding and my membrances are not buldging past it. As of now, they have NOT ruptured. If they appear via ultrasound to be buldging, I will have to immediately be admitted to Labor and Delivery for stitch removal and/or c-section. We are thankful and blessed tomorrow will mark 28 weeks!<br /><br />2. Please pray for our hearts and comfort tonight so we don't worry. We have come this far because of each of your prayers, love, and encouragement. We know He will be holding on to our hearts tonight as well as tomorrow.<br /><br />3. Please pray for Fred as he returns to work tomorrow. I'm sure he's ready to get back to the routine of work, but has expressed numerous times how anxious he is about leaving me/us at home, especially now that things have taken a turn.<br /><br />4. Please pray for Elizabeth Grace and her continued growth. She's done so well and continues to do her part. I struggle daily with feeling as though I am failing her b/c she has fought so hard and is doing so great right inside mommy!<br /><br />I'm not usually one to define specific prayer request, but it was on my heart tonight as the evening draws near. I'm anxious about Fred returning to work, I'm anxious about our appointment tomorrow, and prayerful for William and Amber as they have and continue to do so well, despite all the craziness these weeks have brought. It's a large burden, but I am reminded daily, my burdens don't compare to the burden He carried when he climbed on the cross so that I may be eternally forgiven.<br /><br />Please know how much we love each of you, and are so very thankful for your friendships, prayers, love, support, encouragement, and kind words. I'll update tomorrow when I have an opportunity.<br /><br />With Love,<br />JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-81061762347788316602011-09-29T11:53:00.000-07:002011-09-29T12:12:38.461-07:00Holding on to GraceAnother week means another blessing and another doctor's appointment. These week has brought us to our knees. We met with both my specialist and my OB today for routine visits as I've managed to stay out of the hospital and doctors offices for a week! However, we left today needing lots of prayers.<br /><br />Elizabeth Grace looks wonderful. However, there is worsening of both my cervix and my membranes supporting her. Here are the facts as we learned them today: 1) my cervix has always been weak so we've been monitoring it; it's down to .8 (essentially nothing left), 2) I've always had funneled membrances into the cervix at times to the stitch; however today, the membranes at my stitch are no longer funneled, they are completely wide - meaning - more fluid means increased pressure; increased chance at tearing or bulging past the stitch, and 3) at times, they funneled slightly past the stitch, but moved back up, still open.<br /><br />So here we are...home with our bags packed. Since the beginning, they (the doctors) have told us Elizabeth Grace could come any day. So, we have, to a degree, held to that and mentally remained prepared. However, as the weeks have passed, we've come to level off a bit and not be so much on edge. However, due to the worsening seen today, the open membrane bulging onto my stitch, the doctors could only conclude that any day my membrances will rupture, or buldge past the stitch. Should they buldge past the stitch, I will have to be admitted to Labor and Delivery and the stitch will have to be cut. As a result, my specialist will now see me twice a week instead of once to make sure if I bulge past the stitch, it is caught before the stitch rips, which could lead to hemoragging. <br /><br />I'm sorry to make this a little graphic, but so many have asked about us, prayed for us, and worried with us. I just felt it easier to blog our information, than to make or take a million phone calls and relay the story a million times. <br /><br />For now, I am home. I will see my specialist again on Monday which will mark 28 weeks. Here are the facts for Elizabeth Grace as of now: 1) she is strong, growing well, and has a great size for her gestational age, and 2) should she come in the coming days, there will have to be intensive interventions for her to aide in her breathing and she will face the possiblity of heart surgery for the PDA. As for viability, both doctors agree, she is no longer in danger in that aspect. However, we all recognize and agree there will need to be measures taken to help her continue to grow. Anyone with a micro preemie knows this far to painfully real. <br /><br />At this point, we continue to ask for your prayers for Elizabeth Grace. Prayer for her strength and continued growth. Please pray for our family. Our hearts are tender and our human nature is very scared. We do know who holds our hand and who is holding our Elizabeth Grace in His hands. We have to continue to trust in His plan and His promises to us. We do not know in the days or weeks ahead when we'll meet our precious girl, but we do know until that day, I will continue to hold tight to her in my womb, while God continues to reveal His plan for her and our family.<br /><br />It's a beautiful day, and the Fall weather is coming. I know in my heart God is reassuring me there are nothing but beautiful days ahead. Open your windows, and enjoy the beautiful weather. I know I sure will here at home!!!!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-82239747527016264902011-09-28T16:06:00.000-07:002011-09-28T16:31:17.043-07:00Praise Him From Whom All Blessings FlowI hope this week has been a great one for each of you! Not too much news in our household this week, but I bet things are going to only get busier! <br /><br />I realized today, it was 9 weeks ago we began our journey with Elizabeth Grace. However, when we woke up that Wednesday morning, we had no idea the baby inside of me was even a girl. So, then began our journey of Faith, Love, Hope, and Prayer. As I stated on my FB post earlier today, so many "physicians" were determined in their expertise and knowledge to think our precious girl would not make it. There was just simply no way my body would hold. However, we knew then, but little did they know, that God would show Himself the ONE AND ONLY GREAT PHYSICIAN! Here WE are, 9 weeks later, and inside of ME is a healthy, happy, growing little girl named Elizabeth Grace! She has NEVER been a specimen, as "they" so called her. She has always been OUR Elizabeth Grace given to us by our Father as a reminder of His Amazing Love.<br /><br />Since this pregnancy began, we have stood in amazement of God's Love. Initially, we were shocked I was even pregnant. Then the shock turned to anguish as we were told at 5 weeks, we would loose our girl. Then from there, well if you've followed us, you know the "rest" or at least until this point! I don't think I ever stopped for a moment and feet excitement. I was excited, however, I guarded my feelings so deeply at times. Now, I am overcome with excitement, joy, and happiness at the continued faithfulness of His Love for me, my family, OUR girl, and our many friends following us on this journey.<br /><br />We visit both doctors tomorrow. We are prayerful for positive news. I will come off my current blood thinner which I administer through injection once a day now. They will be switching me to Heprin, which I will have to administer twice a day until Elizabeth is born. Heprin is a reversible blood thinner, which usually isn't administered utnil the final 4 weeks of pregnancy (36 weeks). But, since, my final week(s) are unknown (to us at least), my doctors don't want to "gamble" with any more time and will switch me now since I will be 28 weeks on Monday. Please pray that I am able to handle this form of the blood thinner well. I was given it for only a day with William, but at that time they were pumping me so full of medications to try and hold off labor for him, I felt miserable, so who knows which of the drugs was making me sick then. <br /><br />Amber leaves Friday for 3 days at a Chorus Retreat with school. I'm sure gonna miss my best girl, but I know she's going to have a blast! I'm so proud of her. Also, Fred returns to work Monday. I cannot believe how these past 5 weeks have flown by, but I couldn't have been more blessed by him being home. He has carried such a burden on this journey and so often all that gets overlooked. I blogged about him on a previous post while I was still in the hospital. Little did I realize then, how really strong he was! He has had the glorious opportunity to venture in the grocery store SEVERAL times a week, vaccum, mop, play taxi driver for our teenager, and nightly bath time with William. Sure, these are basic household things, but when you have a stay-at-home wife/mom, you don't often get to experience such fun! Ha Ha....However, he has done it all with a smile and with so much love for our family. I'm sure going to miss him during the day when he goes back to work. <br /><br />However, I have some amazing friends (family) coming in to help with William. These ladies have unselfishly sacrificed their own time to come into our home to help with my children. I'm so humbled by such love! Tuesdays will consists of a play date with my sweet friend Brittainy who will bring her two kids over to play with William while she helps me as well. What an amazing blessing and such a sacrifice, but so willing to do it with such a loving heart. Grammy Huanne will of course be here! She doesn't miss a beat! Such a blessing she has been to our family. With mom and dad in Florida, it's hard sometimes to go back and forth. So Grammy is always here to step in. My kiddos just love her to death! Finally, Mrs. Pat will be here. She also helped me the first week I was discharged and we had such wonderful conversations with some laughs. Not to mention, William absolutely adored her! Mom and Dad remain on standby to come if we call, so we are holding off on them b/c we know they'll be burning up the road to get here when we call to tell them "it's FINALLY time". <br /><br />I daily sit and wonder what I did to deserve such blessings in my life. Our church, our family, our friends, have all been such blessings. My hope is that somehow, I/My Family has touched each of you the same way you have touched us. The ladies above are just a few of the many people who have helped us...and I promise I will get to all the thank you's soon! <br /><br />Okay...that was a LONG post...sorry! I hope each of you have a wonderful evening. Embrace the one's you love, laugh often with them, and remember to be thankful for even the small moments. <br /><br />Love,<br />JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-78933588094752631352011-09-23T10:00:00.000-07:002011-09-23T10:27:57.669-07:00Grace is Sufficient For MeI came across a song the other day and wanted to share a bit about it. The name of the song is "Grace" by Laura Story. She also sings one of my favorite songs "Blessings" I blogged about on a previous post. However, this song "Grace" really touched me deep within as I listened to it over and over again. Here are the lyrics:<br /><br /><em><strong>GRACE<br />My heart is so proud. My mind is so unfocused.<br />I see the things You do through me as great things I have done. And now You gently break me, then lovingly You take me and hold me as my father and mold me as my maker.<br /><br />Chorus:<br />I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?<br />And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abound?"<br />And you answer: " My child, I love you.<br />And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."<br /><br />At times I may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged, knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job. For who am I to serve You? I know I don't deserve You. And that's the part that burns in my heart and keeps me hanging on. <br /><br />Chorus*<br />I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?<br />And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abounds?"<br />And you answer: " My child, I love you.<br />And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."<br />You are so patient with me, Lord.<br /><br />As I walk with You, I'm learning what Your grace really means. The price that I could never pay was paid at Calvary. So, instead of trying to repay You, I'm learning to simply obey You by giving up my life to you For all that You've given to me.<br /><br />Chorus: <br />I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?<br />And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abounds?"<br />And you answer: " My child, I love you.<br />And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."</strong></em><br /><br /><br />As I listened to this song it really brought me to tears. So often it is easy to get caught up in the day to day struggles in life that I so easily forget the sacrifice He paid so that I may live for eternity. I believe with all my heart He puts challenges in our lives to remind us how much he truly does love us. The songs says "and now you gently break me, then lovingly you take me and hold me as my father and mold me as my maker". I believe this is what He has done through me, through us, as we have traveled our journey with Elizabeth Grace. I think we, as His children, take this amazing love for granted at times when we become comfortable in our walk with Him. Yet, He always forgives us, and through these very challenges, reminds us He is there. <br /><br />I have made many mistakes in my lifetime...many I'm not proud of. I've said hurtful things, I've made poor decisions, and have at times strayed from Him. As I listened to this song the chorus made this far too real because I have prayed many times and asked Him why He would continue to forgive me. "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?" His answer is always the same, "My child, I love you, and as long as you're seeking my face, you'll walk in the power of my daily sufficent grace". How humbling is it to know I/We serve such a loving and forgiving God. <br /><br />In the beginning days after I was rushed into surgery and the weeks that followed, I became angry at times. I was angry at myself, feeling like I somehow had failed Elizabeth. I was angry at the fact I lost control of the situation and couldn't change it. And honestly, I had moments where I was angry at God for doing this to us. How selfish is that! Who am I to question Him and what he does. He has loved me through this. He has held my hand and my family as we have walked in the power of his daily sufficient Grace. Most importantly, when I have cried out to him on my knees, He answers me. His answer may come through a song I "happen" to come across; it may come through an email, call, or text from a sweet friend; or it may even come through the gentle kick of this precious girl inside my womb. He does hear me when I call. I have to be willing to sit back and listen when he calls on me reminding me He hears me. <br /><br />Fred returns to work after next week. It's been a wonderful 5 weeks with him home, however, it came at a price. He didn't have leave accumlulated as a result of the house fire earlier this year, so he won't receive any pay for these weeks. We were fortunate to be able to pull from some resources we had through retirement accounts and 401 plans. However, those only go so far. As he returns to work, we now face the challenge of wondering how the bills will get paid. Again, He commands us to call out to Him and He will listen. To seek His face, and he will give us the power to walk in his daily sufficient Grace. For me, that's all the affirmation I need to know my God will continue to carry us. When I quit work to stay home, we wondered the same thing...how will the bills get paid. Let me share with you...they have been paid, they continue to be paid, and we continue to stand in amazement at how He provides.<br /><br />I blogged previously about living a life of love and devotion to those you love. Money doesn't define you. How you walk in your life, love those around you, and the time you spend with the ones you love will define you. When you leave this Earth, what will those you leave behind talk about when they talk about you? <br /><br />The past 2 weeks have been difficult. We have made several trips to my doctors and the hospital. Although my body continues to weaken, God continues to carry out His plan, and Elizabeth Grace remains in my womb. We learned Wednesday, she is now 2 lbs. 7 oz. measuring at 27 weeks and 3 days. I was only 26 weeks and 2 days. Needless to say, she is growing amazingly well. I continue to be humbled by this experience and so amazingly blessed. If I could go back 26 weeks, I'm not sure I would change a thing. My sweet family has traveled such a journey over the past 14 months (William's birth, the house fire, and Elizabeth). Yet through it all, we ramain committed to each other and to our Lord and Savior! As the song tells us:<br /><br />"As I walk with you, I'm learning what your grace really means. The price that I could never pay was paid at Calvary. So, instead of trying to repay You, I'm learning to simply obey You by giving up my life to you for all that You've given to me".<br /><br />So for that, I continue to turn it all over to Him. How can I not? Who else has proven themself so faithful, loved so unconditional, and demonstrated such a foregiveness that only He can give? We have weeks ahead of us that remain uncertain. However, one this is very certain, He loves me, He loves my family, He loves Elizabeth Grace, and He loves You. Make today a special day...love those closes to you, and I encourage you to not take anything for granted. Look at all you have and for just a moment, stop and thank God for those things.Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-43824572688648117452011-09-18T14:07:00.000-07:002011-09-18T14:26:13.237-07:00Every Day is a Beautiful DayI have found that blogging has been a wonderful way to share my testimony, in both good and bad moments. However, I have also found it very theraputic as I spend so much of my days reflecting on my thoughts, my family, my friends, and my feelings. <br /><br />As many of you read from FB, we spent most of yesterday at Northside. If you've been following us, it was a long week. I woke up yesterday morning in an extreme amount of lower back pain. It was so intense, I could barely walk. I tried to drink some water and rest, but the pain worsened and was beginning to transfer to "other" locations. Locations which triggered instant fear and concern. Needless to say, I called the doctor and without hesitation they said to get to L & D. I guess this is part of the journey we will travel considering the high risk nature of this pregnancy. We arrived and they immediately got me into a room and hooked on the monitors. They drew some blood and rushed me down to APC, my specialist office located in the hospital. Much to our relief we learned my stitch was stable as well as my cervix in comparison to Thursday's routine appointment. However, her head had dropped quite a bit. My labs were normal and the consensus was that it was largely due to her dropping position, the weakening of my joints, and the deterioration of muscle tissue as a result of the nearly 8 weeks I have been on bed rest. Although we were thrilled to know we would be coming home with our girl, we now face some more challenges. <br /><br />The greatest of these challenges being the continued deterioration of both my muscle tissue and weakening of my joints. Both are common with extended bed rest, and often require therapy at the end. Despite the amount of pain and discomfort I am in, it's not about me or my comfort level. It continues to be and has always been about Elizabeth Grace and giving her the best chance possible. In addition, I continue to pray for my sweet family as they continue to carry such a load here at home.<br /><br />Amber continues to do well in school and is now beginning to perform with Chorus. This of course is a huge emotional challenge for me as I just to don't miss anything involving my kids. She is performing at half time this Friday night at the football game and I won't be able to attend. She will be gone the last weekend of the month to a Chorus Retreat which I'm so excited about for her. We are really trying to make sure she remains a teenager and stays busy. She spent yesterday with her best friend and a few other friends at the fair and had a blast. I could not be more proud of her patience, love, and strength during this time as she too has had to carry some of the responsibilities at home that she otherwise would be free from.<br /><br />William has begun to WALK EVERYWHERE. He loves playing with his ball and his toy cars. He rolls them all over the house now. He'll even play ball by himself at times throwing the ball, going to get it, and throwing it again. He has just this week started wanting to feed himself. Yep....this is always fun to watch. Yogurt and Speghetti O's are the messiest, but he thinks he's such a big boy.<br /><br />I guess I have spent this week in a bit of a slump. When going through something this life altering, some days are just harder than others. I don't want to appear to be complaining, because I have nothing to complain about. I am richly blessed, I am a believer in the One and ONLY Physician, and as challenging as this pregnancy is, it is truly a miracle and a testimony of God's Grace and the power of prayer. However, some days I miss my "freedom" of going out to lunch, playing in the yard, going for a walk, or just enjoying the beautiful weather. Most of all, I am really missing my weekly women's Bible Study that was always a huge highlight of my week. Despite my restrictions to the bed, I have a beautiful life growing inside of me, and for that, I'll find every day to be a beautiful day.Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-65248506297994848252011-09-15T11:19:00.001-07:002011-09-15T11:46:41.494-07:00We Will Trust in YouWe went today for our routine visits to both my OB and my Specialist. We thought they would cancel today's appointment since they saw us Tuesday, but they were adamant about keeping them. As indicated in my last post, I have been experiencing a lot of discomfort and pain in the past week. On Tuesday, we learned Elizabeth was breech and that could be the source of the discomfort. Today, the ultrasound indicated she had flipped back down and the discomfort has not eased. After a more extensive ultrasound, we discovered since Tuesday, my cervix has shortened considerably, at least what was left, which wasn't much. In addition, the funneled membranes are larger opening the way for her head to drop into them and as of today, they were bulging at my stitch.<br /><br />There was discussion about readmission, but after further conversation, we agreed I would come on home and just notify them of even the smallest of issues I see or feel. The concensus between both doctors is that Elizabeth Grace could come any day now. They feel my body is beginning to transition into possible labor, but again, we have no way of knowing, only The Great Physician does.<br /><br />They don't do measurements but every 4 weeks, which means they will measure her again in 2 weeks if I'm still pregnant. However, based on her measurements 2 weeks ago, they estimate her to be at or near 2 pounds. Her heart looks wonderful, she is very active indicating good lung development (for 25 weeks), and she is opening and closing her mouth indicating she is swallowing well. All of these things indicate she is doing really well. Of course, we do not want to deliver her this early, but realize, along with our doctors, we have fought a great fight for her, essentially saving her little life having gotten this far. I take none of that for granted, but continue to pray for many more weeks with her in my belly.<br /><br />As I have mentioned in previous posts, Elizabeth Grace's plan has already been designed and has been from the very beginning. For that, we will continue to trust in Him to carry out His plan, not ours. Selfishly, I am begging with all my heart and a million tears for God to let me hang on to her longer in my womb. However, I know, and I trust in Him to carry out His plan and provide our hearts with all we need to accept that plan and walk alongside of Him with Elizabeth Grace singing His praises. We will be at Northside and they have one of the leading NICU's in the country. They took such wonderful care of William and we know they'll do nothing less for our Elizabeth. As for how she will be delivered will not be decided until that time is here. My OB and Specialist agree there will be many factors, the greatest being her position as to if I have a c-section or not as well as how far I really do get with her. Until I am much further along (32 weeks or further) they acknowledge my desire to have her c-section to minimize pressure on her soft little head. <br /><br />Please continue to pray for my sweet family. Although I am in quite a bit of discomfort, it isn't about me. Right now, I live each moment praying for all three of my children, their hearts, and for my amazing husband. It would be so easy to dwell in my own sorrow and self-pity, but I can't do that. As I type this, I am sad, I am scared, but I'm not alone. I am loved by an amazing God who has truly proven Himself faithful. I am comforted in a peace that surpasses all, and as a family, we remain honored to have been chosen to travel this journey. Until we meet our Elizabeth Grace face to face, we will continue to trust in Him, His will, and His many promises to us.<br /><br />I will sign off and leave you with some more 3D pictures of Elizabeth Grace.<br /><br /><strong><em>Psalm 139:13-14<br /><br />For you created my inmost being; <br />you knit me together in my mother's womb.<br />I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;<br />your works are wonderful,<br />I know that full well.</em></strong><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHVRJudX20aPq5eXEx6kc_EqhmmliJTk5sREKGn1PCtv5dgAQzxFUA0B4hYnvTFU3xYDJPzQwZYY05esWzXdKwVq6q7KM57psxEQE2svnPFbnHZ2dDmeNEfgI9Lt6bI96Te2Lj-ghuwdzI/s1600/100_2341.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHVRJudX20aPq5eXEx6kc_EqhmmliJTk5sREKGn1PCtv5dgAQzxFUA0B4hYnvTFU3xYDJPzQwZYY05esWzXdKwVq6q7KM57psxEQE2svnPFbnHZ2dDmeNEfgI9Lt6bI96Te2Lj-ghuwdzI/s320/100_2341.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5652658458599222082" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOBDgTaF3SiuvQOUnVFlOpIeZR2KkOCS7LARxXBp5ksQ8KeF6z3H46EdiwNjdqcGsVe8Pq88Quyyx0L243cqK1o1sRrpB3mEeuqFYbCAAPBXkyhlPKwG4OpgXk7cHENRoZKrhWwa3AH2Cd/s1600/100_2340.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOBDgTaF3SiuvQOUnVFlOpIeZR2KkOCS7LARxXBp5ksQ8KeF6z3H46EdiwNjdqcGsVe8Pq88Quyyx0L243cqK1o1sRrpB3mEeuqFYbCAAPBXkyhlPKwG4OpgXk7cHENRoZKrhWwa3AH2Cd/s320/100_2340.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5652658456448440882" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpLF7qEbKQehsZoqT9u1UA-KHNGNHRT8z3LQqyLIyR2Um8wmL5aaJa10qqxjcNUWCNY53Zq5oFzBw9r_lvB1PmWibLaoYg7XOXu14xLyKznvgESXuksuemKmESjsw9Vd-O60VYfz3BxZT2/s1600/100_2339.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpLF7qEbKQehsZoqT9u1UA-KHNGNHRT8z3LQqyLIyR2Um8wmL5aaJa10qqxjcNUWCNY53Zq5oFzBw9r_lvB1PmWibLaoYg7XOXu14xLyKznvgESXuksuemKmESjsw9Vd-O60VYfz3BxZT2/s320/100_2339.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5652658450384580562" /></a>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-81661408153956326812011-09-12T14:49:00.000-07:002011-09-12T15:20:45.975-07:00WonderingIt has been a "busy" week and a little while since my last post. We had our weekly appointment with my specialist on Thursday. However, prior to the appointment, my nerves got the best of both me and Elizabeth. Wednesday night was very scary. I woke up in the middle of the night with about 4 contractions in a 30 minute time period around 2:00 a.m. I really think this was simply my anxiety level about the appointment. We woke up early and headed to Alpharetta. The ultrasound went well and Elizabeth still looks wonderful. However, my cervix shortened again and my specialist felt the only other place for it to go is open. The stitch is holding so that's what they focus on now, not so much the length since that's obviously worsening. The issue now will be watching the stitch and making sure it holds.<br /><br />I also received three injections last week. Needless to say, I was a bit sore considering the location of all the injections and the fact that I'm on bed rest meaning all I have to do is lay on the injection sites. The steriod injections went well and I received my normal 17P injection. Although my specialist is still greatly concerned, he is comfortable with what I am doing at home as far as the bed rest is concerned. <br /><br />This brings us to today. Saturday afternoon I was extremely uncomfortable. Honestly, I'm only 25 weeks pregnant, but feel like I'm at the final mark. I'm not sure if this is all her positioning, the bed rest resulting in an extreme lack of energy to even walk to the restroom, or something else. I had a terrible time sleeping Saturday night and tossed and turned much of the night. I am having a ton of pain in my lower back as well. Sunday was not much better in fact things got a bit worse. I have developed severe indigestion. Well, when you are on bed rest, and they want you sitting up as little as possible this does not make for a comfortable feeling at all. I still experience some contractions, am extremely fatigued (not sure why I don't do anything) and am coping with the indigestion as best I can.<br /><br />We see both doctors on Thursday and will do the diabetes screening then. I have experienced so many different emotions over the past 7 weeks. However, for the last few weeks, I have felt good, confident, and determined. Right now, I'm more scared than I have been in weeks. I'm not sure if the bed rest and lack of exercise is catching up with me, or if Elizabeth Grace is trying to decide if she's ready to see us. I'm sure this week will bring some answers and may result in me returning to the hospital.<br /><br />We remain very thankful and blessed we have made it this far and will continue to fight with all we have to make it further. The last few days have just been a bit scary and uncomfortable. We know who is in control, and continue to trust in Him. Please continue to pray for our Elizabeth Grace, God's will, and the comfort we need to remain relaxed and focused on her. <br /><br />God is still so present in our lives. I logged on to Facebook last night only to find where a long time friend's son had song a duet in church yesterday. She uploaded it to YouTube and posted it on Facebook. The song was "Blessings". I first heard this song after a friend lost her precious baby girl in May and mentioned it in her blog. As I was feeling so weak and scared last night, what a powerful reminder that God was right there with me. I listened to it and cried as I let Elizabeth listen as well. If you haven't heard it, I encourage you to listen. The lyrics are below:<br /><br /><strong>We pray for blessings, we pray for peace. Comfort for family, protection while we sleep. We pray for healing, for prosperity. We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering. All the while You hear each spoken need; Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things.<br /><br />'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near? What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?<br /><br />We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear. We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near. We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love; As if every promise from Your Word is not enough. And all the while You hear each desperate plea. And long that we'd have faith to believe.<br /><br />'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears? And what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near? And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?<br /><br />When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win. We know that pain reminds this heart that this is not, this is not our home.<br /><br />What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?<br /><br />And what if trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are Your mercies in disguise?</strong><br /><br /><br />Our trials are blessings if we choose to see them for just that. I've had lots of sleepless nights, feelings of lonliness, and many storms. However, I have never once felt abandoned by my God nor forsaken. May you find the many blessings you have been given even when you feel there are none to be seen. I promise there are many.Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842004379077377935.post-1289846537365836882011-09-05T14:28:00.001-07:002011-09-05T14:59:27.778-07:00We Remain Faithful<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN4h-cJ0piHVlI0Nd8TfX4x7cwwN1DZjS9HyzN8s2KeJZA-Ie6cV2T86F5LRvZ2U_CtAWuUnUjmkI4frZwpJIqqL8djpL_L_ok0VSlwx-Oziinrx_HplOMm0fczCJEUJO_hbPQ4RUwm4Wn/s1600/100_2327.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN4h-cJ0piHVlI0Nd8TfX4x7cwwN1DZjS9HyzN8s2KeJZA-Ie6cV2T86F5LRvZ2U_CtAWuUnUjmkI4frZwpJIqqL8djpL_L_ok0VSlwx-Oziinrx_HplOMm0fczCJEUJO_hbPQ4RUwm4Wn/s320/100_2327.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5648998173688430306" /></a>
<br />The number 24 means different things to different people. I guess to some, it's double 12. For others, it may represent your birthday. However, for our family today, it represents a 6 week prayerful journey to reach a critical part in my pregnancy. As the storms move in outside today, it would be easy to feel gloomy and long for sunshine. However, for me, it is another reminder that life isn't always sunshine and pretty days. There will be clouds, rain, and darkness. Even in those moments, life is so beautiful; if you chose to see it that way.
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<br />As I replay the past 6 weeks in my mind, it is overwhelming. We have traveled such an emotional journey to get to the magic number of "24". During the course of these weeks, we had to do somethings our hearts were not prepared for and I haven't shared with many people. Due to the critical nature of the situation, and the doctor's doubts on survival or extended length of my pregnancy, as Elizabeth's parents we had to write a plan for her. We had specific desires for how we wanted her and our situation handled should God chose to take her home to heaven. If these desires are not specifically stated, the situation can potentially become overwhelming. As part of our plan, we had to contact a funeral home and express our desires and questions to them. I must say, as "strong" as I may have appeared to be over these few weeks, this was surely a weak moment for both my heart and Fred's. As I began to type out our desires, I started my first sentence with this..."This is a plan for our Elizabeth Grace we pray we do not have to implement".
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<br />Prayer is not just a word or something people do. It's speaking to God in a way only he can hear. Prayer is communicating with Him both your heart's desires and your praises. Throughout these past few weeks and in the weeks to come, I continue to pray for Elizabeth's continued growth and health. However, I also thank God for the many blessings He has given us; one of which is this pregnancy. I cannot help but to think of how different our lives would have been if we weren't traveling this journey. As hard as it has been and continues to be, we have been drawn so much closer to God and each other. Specificlly, at a time when there is so much stress and emotion, it would be easy to strain a marriage. However, Fred and I have found our strength in each other and our marriage like we have never had before. It hasn't always been "beautiful" and we certainly have stressful moments. However, I have seen my husband hold tight to prayer and to our family like never before. I am so thankful to have him as my partner, husband, and best friend as we walk this journey together with God at our side.
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<br />Today has been a wonderful day of continued rest. Although I have a fairly bad head cold and have had some mild cramping, I otherwise feel great. I am anxiously anticipating my nurse's visit tomorrow so we can begin the first of two steriod injections for Elizabeth. We will follow the first one with a second injection with my 17P injection on Wednesday and visit my specialist on Thursday. All seems to be holding stable and we continue to pray for many more weeks with Elizabeth growing in my womb.
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<br />We continue to trust His plan and remain faithful in prayer for Elizabeth Grace as the days, and weeks move on. We still do not know what her future holds, or ours, but we do know God remains in control and Elizabeth Grace is a living example of the power of prayer.
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<br />Look closely at the picture above. Elizabeth has her face turned to the camera, with her mouth open, and is giving us a "thumbs up". God spoke through her and she reassured us, and each of you, all will be well.
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<br />Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15533673985865068833noreply@blogger.com0